Disco’s Weekly
Round 11
In this week’s edition,
if you have ever wondered what it takes to write reviews purely for the love of the game, I will give you an insight, followed by an update on where each team at the halfway point of the season, as well as a few tasty little tidbits, and as usual, we will finish it off with the votes from Round 11 in the fight for the Over 30’s Mirrorball Keyring, the only award dedicated to the ageing veterans of our great game.
Vale Neale Daniher
I have just been informed the great Neale Daniher passed away today, an AFL identity who was universally loved as a player, a coach and for founding the Big Freeze to raise awareness and funds to fight MND.
Condolences to his family, friends, former teammates, and all those who were touched by his journey.
The Reverend was a true man of the people who has departed this earth way too early.
Rest in peace Legend.
For the Love of the Game
Each weekend The Mongrel Punt publishes in-depth reviews of each game played, whether that be a bottom of the table clash, or a blockbuster clash between the top teams and, in an age of instant gratification, most reviews are published within four hours after the final siren. Given most articles are somewhere between 2,500 to 4,000 words and AI is not used, that is a mighty fine turnaround.
A standard timeline for any given review on any given weekend, loosely follows the following formula:
- Approximately an hour or two before the bounce a pregame blurb is written, often setting the theme for the main review;
- A quick check of the changes to both teams, including identifying players on debut as well as checking the background of some of newer players taking to the field;
- Watching the game, not as a spectator, but as an analyst, and not just concentrating on the obvious, but also trying to identify the battles within the battle, and picking up on the little nuances that matter;
- Before the winning side has even finished singing their song, the telly is switched off, or we’re out of the ground, and it is down to business of writing a piece that is both informative as well as entertaining;
- The hardest sentence in any review is the first sentence as it sets the theme for the rest of the article, as well as which formula to follow. For example, I reviewed the Pies and Eagles on the weekend just past, and while I gave a general overview at the start of the review, I did not follow the trusted quarter by quarter blow by blow running commentary formula. Instead, I purposely went a bit loose and I just let the review take on a life of its own;
- As per the above point, once a review is published it is open to interpretation from you the reader, and generally, at the moment of publication the author has relinquished any input as to how the article is interpreted;
- It normally takes about three to four hours to finish the first draft of any review, and then the fun begins;
- The second and final draft include fixing grammar and spelling mistakes and trying to be as accurate as possible with names, statistics and other variables. This is harder than actually writing the main body of the review, as no matter how many times a piece is edited, there will always be one glaring mistake that the author is blind too, and inevitably, some reader will highlight the one mistake;
- Once the review is finished, it is sent to HB who gives the piece a quick tidy up and another edit;
- For better or worse the review is published by Fearless Leader; and
- After seven continuous hours from start to finish, at 3am it is bedtime.
There are some misgiven fallacies about The Mongrel Punt reviews;
- To the best of a writer’s ability, most reviews try not to be biased one way or another, and on the rare occasions where bias is shown, the author will generally state that bias;
- Following on from the above, a couple of years ago I wrote a piece pointing out the inherent faults in the team I have followed since birth, and it made me laugh when I got scorned by all and sundry as basically always hating that club. As a critic, that feedback was music to my ears, as it reinforced that as a writer, personal affiliations come second to being objective;
- The writers at The Mongrel Punt are not beholding to any sponsors, organisations and/or other entities, as such each author has the freedom to express opinions without fear or favour;
- Unlike other media outlets, caning players who are in the early stages of their careers is off-limits;
- Generally, umpire bashing is left to you the reader to identify, as within the limited time frame to publish we try to let the football do the talking;
- It is hard to be on the take, as is often claimed, if you are writing for the love of the game and for the joy of writing; and
- We do like what we do, and we love the interaction with you, our readers.
Anyway, enough self-indulgence, we are technically at the halfway mark of the season, so now is as good any time to judge the lay of the land before the bye rounds start.
The Halftime Report Card
This will be straight forward, with each team receiving a grade based not only their ladder position, but also on the preseason expectations:
- Fremantle Dockers – 10 wins A++
The ladder-leading Dockers are living up to the preseason hype, winning ten straight games, and unless the wind suddenly is taken out of their sails, they are setting themselves up nicely for September.
- Sydney Swans – 9 wins A
Like the Dockers, the Swans have busted out of the gates early in the season, and with everything being equal, they are in the running for the much-valued double-chance come September.
- Geelong – 8 wins A+
Year after year, pundits write the Cats off, and as is the standard of the Kitty Litter lovers, they just get right off defying the doomsayers by staying relevant, dangerously relevant. Given the preseason expectations, the Cats get full points.
- Hawthorn – 7.5 wins B+
No team wants to be peaking midseason, and after a powerful start to the year the Hawks have spluttered a little, nothing major at this point, but they are a watch after their bye.
- Gold Coast Suns – 7 wins B
The Suns were all the rage at the start of the season, however after a great start to the year they are losing games they should be winning, however in spite of themselves they still turn in a good position to lodge an attack in the second half of the season.
- Melbourne – 7 wins A
The Demons have exceeded all expectations to the halfway mark of the season, and if they can hold their bottle after their bye, they are a real chance of finishing somewhere in the top 6 come September. Nobody saw this coming.
- Adelaide – 6 wins C
Last year’s Minor Premier have failed to really deliver this season thus far on a consistent basis. Unless the Crows can find some consistency, they are destained to be playing on ‘wildcard’ weekend.
- Brisbane Lions – 6 wins C-
A bit like Geelong, only a fool would write them off at this stage of the season, but there are signs the dynasty might be on the rocks. What was the third quarter against the Giants all about?
- Western Bulldogs – 6 wins B-
Injuries have rocked the Kennel after a great start to the season, and it is truly hard to gauge where their season is at. A mark of ‘B-‘ is probably a tad generous, however, they have managed to stay within striking range of the top echelon and who knows what happens after the bye.
- Collingwood – 5.5 wins C-
There were many question marks hanging over the Pies preseason, and with a 50/50 start to the season the same questions still remain unanswered.
- St Kilda – 5 wins C-
Who are you St Kilda? Are you the team on the rise in the second half of the season, or do you again make your poor haggard fans suffer the highs and lows of another false dawn? Out of all the teams outside the Top 10, the Saints are the most likely team to make a jump, but haven’t they been here before?
- Greater Western Sydney – 5 wins D+
Until the third quarter onslaught (that is an understatement) against the reigning Premier, it looked like the Giants were planning holidays in September, however, that one perfect quarter of football may have just resurrected their season.
- North Melbourne – 5 wins B+
Finally, after many seasons in the wilderness the Kangaroos are on the rise, playing an attractive brand football without fear of failure. The Roos may not make the finals, but if they can maintain their current form for the rest of the season, then this is the gap year they need before chasing higher glories.
- Port Adelaide – 3 wins E
Three wins says it all.
- Carlton – 3 wins E
Without a shadow of a doubt, the Blues are the most disappointing team thus far. A couple of wins after knifing another coach is par for the course at Ikon, but all that does is highlight another wasted season.
- West Coast Eagles – 3 wins C with a bullet
The Eagles are coming, but they still must go through some more growing pains. Unlike the other cellar dwellers, the Eagles have the majority of their list required for another tilt at the flag in the next year or two already at the club, and they are getting valuable experience and game time under their belts. Six wins would be a good year for the Eaglets, while seven or more would be a bonus.
- Richmond – 2 wins n/a
I refuse to grade the Tiger cubs as they have a list that is almost fully depleted – it would not be fair to the new recruits who have been rushed into playing in the big league out of necessity to grade them.
- Essendon – 1 win F
Cry me a river Bomber fans, your club is a mess from top to bottom, and while many will sympathise with your lot, the majority of your pain is self-inflicted.
Let me know if you agree or disagree with your team’s halftime grading. The marks allotted are certainly not scientific, and they are only based on gut feel.
Tidbits
The epic production that was SP 433 has finally concluded, and while the Pies snatched the win the club demanded, kudos to the villainous Eaglets who nearly spoiled the party.
It was good to see a fit and healthy Beau McCreery bound up and down the wing on the weekend. McCreery (a bit like Weddle at Hawthorn) is built like a bison, but he runs like a gazelle – a lethal combination.
Every season a player or two will catch my attention, and this year it is Jarman Impey. A lot of accolades and praise is afforded to old man Gunston, but for mine, Impey is the understated old-stager at Glenferrie Road who is leading the current incarnation of the Hawks to next their tilt at September glory (possibly this year).
Geelong, please stop being so Geelong and fade into the sunset for a while, please.
In all seriousness, Geelong’s machine-like efficiency of churning out role players from within the club is amazing. While the spotlight rightly shines on the stars, it the Cats’ ability to maintain a stable list of quality players making up their bottom six which separates them from the rest of the competition.
Tighten your bum cheeks Docker fans, as your team is officially on the rollercoaster to possible September glory. From hereon in, every bump, every niggling injury, every defeat, every mistake, every missed superstition will have you clutching your bum cheeks as you hope beyond hope the promised land is finally reached. You can almost feel it and taste it Flagmantle, so enjoy the ride.
Reminiscent of the Eagles a couple years back, injuries have cruelled Richmond this season and if what I read is correct, the cupboard is bare and there no surplus backup players available. It is terrible situation the Tigers face, being forced to play players well before they are ready to compete at senior level, while knowing they are one injury or suspension away from not being able to field a healthy starting 23. The Tigers win over the Bombers on the weekend was a bloody miracle and it is a credit to Adam Yze and his coaching and fitness staff they pulled off the win.
Disco’s Over 30’s Casey’s Nightclub Award
This award is for the players proving there is life after 30 in the AFL and it is theoretically sponsored by the once legendary nightclub located in the Glenferrie Station arcade, Casey’s Over 30s Nightclub. On any given Wednesday or Saturday night the more mature singles of Melbourne would pack the joint to the rafters. The smell of cheap aftershave and perfume was truly overbearing.
There are many players in the AFL thirty years of age or older performing gallantly and as such The Mongrel Punt have introduced this award specifically for the elderly citizens of the competition who will be competing for The Mirror Ball Keyring.
Similar in style to the Coaches Votes, the voting system for this cherished award is the top ten elderly citizens of each round will be ranked with ten being the maximum and one being the minimum.
Votes for Round 11
10 Jeremy Cameron (Gee)
9 Marcus Bontempelli (WB)
8 Jake Stringer (GWS)
7 Toby Greene (GWS)
6 Jack Crisp (Coll)
5 Jarman Impey (Haw)
4 Luke Parker (NM)
3 Christian Petracca (GC)
2 Jayden Short (Rich)
1 Jack Darling (NM)
Leaders Board
35 Brodie Grundy (Syd)
24 Jack Gunston (Haw) Marcus Bontempelli (WB)
21 Luke Parker (NM)
20 Lachie Neale (Bris) Jeremy Cameron (Gee)
16 Zach Merrett (Ess) Toby Greene (GWS) Jarman Impey (Haw)
15 Jack Steele (Melb) Max Gawn (Melb)
14 Scott Pendlebury (Coll) Jack Sinclair (St K)
13 Jack Cripps (Coll) Christian Petracca (GC)
10 Lachie Whitfield (GWS) Jack Macrae (St K)
9 Taylor Walker (Ade) Luke Ryan (Freo) Dayne Zorko (Bris) Tim Kelly (WC)
8 Bradley Hill (St K) Patrick Cripps (Carl) Jake Stringer (GWS)
7 Ollie Wines (PA) Ryan Lester (Bris) Tom Stewart (Gee)
6 Alex Pearce (Freo) Brayden Maynard (Coll)
5 James Sicily (Haw) Callum Wilkie (St K) Tom Aitkins (Gee)
4 Jake Melksham (Melb) Alex Neal-Bullen (Ade) Elliott Yoe (WC)
3 Jake Lloyd (Syd)
2 Jayden Short (Rich) Jack Darling (NM)
1 Nic Newman (Carl)
In previous weeks votes had been given to Harris Andrews, however he does not turn 30 till December, and the same applies to Peter Wright who doesn’t turn 30 until September.
Fin
Have a great week and may your team win.
Please feel free to offer ideas to improve the Weekly as it is a totally new concept. We value your input, and there is no such thing as a bad suggestion.
As always, buy The Man HB Meyers, our fearless leader and main provider of content to you the readers every day, a coffee.
Stay Bold and Stay Strong.
