The Mongrel Crystal Ball – 2024


2024 Mongrel Crystal Ball


We’ve read the predictions of the best – now it’s time to read those of the rest!

As we like to poke fun at the experts (some of whom are highly paid) who trot out wild predictions, what type of hypocrites would we be if we didn’t do the same and wear the criticism?

Personally, I thought we’d be the coolest type, but the other blokes disagreed, and so, here we are, ready to put our collective knowledge (and wild guessing ability) to the test.

Here are The Mongrel team predictions for 2024… which may or may not be edited at some point during the season to save face. Just kidding – I had someone send me screenshots a couple of yeara ago… can’t get away with that stuff, anymore.

So yes… what did we get right? What did we get wrong?


Who will be Premiers in 2024?

Brisbane. It’s time. (HB Meyers)

Carlton Blues (Matt Passmore)

GWS (Hodgey)

GWS (Jarred Ophorst)

Greater Western Sydney (Jimmy D)

Brisbane (John Whinnen) 

GWS (JB Eddy)

GWS (Jono Mwanangela)

Collingwood (Matt Oman)

Sydney Swans (Jackson Swan)

Collingwood (Matt Parnell)

Brisbane (Tim Hunt)

GWS Giants (Slugger)

Collingwood (Tim Higgins)

GWS (Thomas Gibbs)

Collingwood – I had an epiphany this morning when a tooth broke and I had to make an emergency dental appointment – all I thought was, this is the Omen the Pies will go back to back (Peter Monagle)

GWS (Mrs Mongrel)

Collingwood (Sam Field)

GWS (Trent Adam Shields)

Collingwood (The Doc)

Brisbane (Emily Jones)


Who will be Runners-Up in 2024?

St Kilda (HB Meyers)

Melbourne Demons (Matt Passmore)

Brisbane (Hodgey)

Brisbane (Jarred Ophorst)

Sydney Swans (Jimmy D)

GWS (John Whinnen) 

Melbourne (JB Eddy)

Brisbane (Jono Mwanangela)

Melbourne (Matt Oman)

GWS Giants (Jackson Swan)

Port Adelaide (Matt Parnell)

Collingwood (Tim Hunt)

Carlton (Slugger)

GWS (Tim Higgins)

Brisbane (Thomas Gibbs)

Carlton or Brisbane (Peter Monagle)

Carlton or Freo (Mrs Mongrel)

GWS (Sam Field)

Brisbane (Trent Adam Shields)

GWS (The Doc)

GWS (Emily Jones)


Who will be Wooden Spooners in 2024?

North Melbourne (HB Meyers) 

West Coast (Hodgey)

Hawthorn (Matt Passmore)

West Coast (Jarred Ophorst)

Fremantle Dockers (Jimmy D)

North Melbourne (John Whinnen) 

West Coast (JB Eddy)

West Coast (Jono Mwanangela)

West Coast (Matt Oman)

West Coast (Jackson Swan)

Hawthorn (Matt Parnell)

Hawthorn (Tim Hunt)

Hawthorn (Slugger)

West Coast (Tim Higgins)

West Coast (Thomas Gibbs)

The WAFL team (Peter Monagle)

North Melbourne (Mrs Mongrel)

North Melbourne (Sam Field)

Hawthorn (Trent Adam Shields)

West Coast (The Doc)

West Coast (Emily Jones)


Biggest Rise (Team) 

Fremantle (HB Meyers)

Adelaide (Hodgey)

Gold Coast (Matt Passmore)

Fremantle (Jarred Ophorst)

Adelaide (Jimmy D)

Essendon (John Whinnen) 

Gold Coast (JB Eddy)

Richmond (Jono Mwanangela)

Adelaide (Matt Oman)

Hawthorn (Jackson Swan)

Sydney (Matt Parnell)

Adelaide (Tim Hunt)

Geelong (Slugger)

Adelaide (Tim Higgins)

Gold Coast (Thomas Gibbs)

St Kilda – it’s a Ross Lyon thingie with second year teams (Peter Monagle)

Gold Coast (Mrs Mongrel)

Adelaide (Sam Field)

Fremantle (Trent Adam Shields)

Adelaide to push into the top six (The Doc)

Hawthorn (Emily Jones)


Biggest Fall (Team) 

Carlton (HB Meyers)

Port Adelaide ( Hodgey)

Greater Western Sydney (Matt Passmore)

Melbourne (Jarred Ophorst)

St Kilda Saints (Jimmy D)

Carlton (John Whinnen) 

St Kilda  (JB Eddy)

Carlton (Jono Mwanangela)

Sydney (Matt Oman)

Melbourne (Jackson Swan)

St. Kilda (Matt Parnell)

Melbourne (Tim Hunt)

Port Adelaide (Slugger)

Melbourne (Tim Higgins)

St. Kilda (Thomas Gibbs)

Melbourne and Port Adelaide (Peter Monagle)

Collingwood (Mrs Mongrel)

Melbourne (Sam Field)

Melbourne (Trent Adam Shields)

Melbourne and Richmond (The Doc)

St Kilda (Emily Jones)


Who will finish top three in the Brownlow?

Andrew Brayshaw, Marcus Bontempelli, Nick Daicos (HB Meyers)

Noah Anderson, Tom Green, Nick Daicos, (Hodgey)

Nick Daicos, Zak Butters, Tom Green (Matt Passmore)

Nick Daicos and Zak Butters (dual winners), Errol Gulden, Nathan Fyfe (Jarred Ophorst)

Winner – Errol Gulden, Runner-Up – Marcus Bontempelli, Third – Toby Greene & Jeremy Cameron (Jimmy D)

Errol Gulden, Nick Daicos, Marcus Bontempelli (John Whinnen) 

Nick Daicos, Marcus Bontempelli, Errol Gulden (JB Eddy)

Nick Daicos, Marcus Bontempelli, Chad Warner (Jono Mwanangela) 

Zak Butters, Jordan De Goey, Lachie Neale (Matt Oman)

Nick Daicos, Errol Gulden, Tom Green (Jackson Swan)

Marcus Bontempelli, Errol Gulden, Tom Green (Matt Parnell)

Nick Daicos, Marcus Bontempelli, Zak Butters (Tim Hunt)

Tom Green, Noah Anderson, Zak Butters (Slugger)

Nick Daicos, Errol Gulden, Christian Petracca (Tim Higgins)

Marcus Bontempelli, Lachie Neale, Zak Butters (Thomas Gibbs)

Nick Daicos, Lachie Neale and Connor Rozee (Peter Monagle)

Matt Rowell, Zak Butters, Tom Greene, so I get Tom and Toby (Mrs Mongrel)

Nick Daicos, Connor Rozee, Jordan Dawson (Sam Field)

Christian Petracca, Jack Steele, Jai Newcombe (Trent Adam Shields)

Marcus Bontempelli, Nick Daicos, Lachie Neale (The Doc)

Nick Daicos, Marcus Bontempelli, Errol Gulden (Emily Jones)


Who wins the Coleman in 2024?

Jeremy Cameron (HB Meyers)

Charlie Curnow (Hodgey)

Taylor Walker (Matt Passmore)

Nick Larkey (Jarred Ophorst)

Jeremy Cameron (Jimmy D)

Oscar Allen (John Whinnen) 

Nick Larkey  (JB Eddy)

Nick Larkey (Jono Mwanangela)

Max King (Matt Oman)

Ben King (Jackson Swan)

Nick Larkey (Matt Parnell)

Joe Daniher (Tim Hunt)

Peter Wright (Slugger)

Taylor Walker (Tim Higgins)

Nick Larkey (Thomas Gibbs)

Nick Larkey (Peter Monagle)

Nick Larkey (Mrs Mongrel)

Toby Greene (Sam Field)

Jesse Hogan (Trent Adam Shields)

Toby Greene (The Doc)

Nick Larkey (Emily Jones)


Best recruit of 2024?

James Harmes or Riley Bonner for great value (HB Meyers)

Brodie Grundy (Matt Passmore)

Shaun Mannagh if deemed “eligible” otherwise Xavier Duursma (Hodgey)

Brodie Grundy (Jarred Ophorst)

Jack Ginnivan (Jimmy D)

James Jordon (John Whinnen) 

Todd Goldstein (JB Eddy)

Lachie Schultz (Jono Mwanangela)

Ethan Phillips (Matt Oman)

Brodie Grundy (Jackson Swan)

Sam Naismith (Matt Parnell)

Lachie Schultz (Tim Hunt)

Zac Fisher (Slugger)

Brodie Grundy (Tim Higgins)

Brodie Grundy (Thomas Gibbs)

Jack Ginnivan (Mrs Mongrel)

Brodie Grundy (Sam Field)

Jack Ginnivan (Trent Adam Shields)

James Jordon or James Harmes (The Doc)

Brodie Grundy (Emily Jones)


Who will be the Rising Star in 2023?

George Wardlaw (HB Meyers)

Harley Reid (Matt Passmore)

Colby McKercher (Hodgey)

Jed Walter – If he recovers from injury in a reasonable time (Jarred Ophorst)

Ryley Sanders / Jhye Clark (Jimmy D) 

George Wardlaw (John Whinnen) 

George Wardlaw  (JB Eddy)

Ryley Sanders (Jono Mwanangela)

Ryley Sanders (Matt Oman)

George Wardlaw (Jackson Swan)

George Wardlaw (Matt Parnell)

George Wardlaw (Tim Hunt)

Ryley Sanders (Slugger)

George Wardlaw (Tim Higgins)

Harley Reid (Thomas Gibbs)

Harley Reid (Peter Monagle)

Ryley Sanders (Mrs Mongrel)

Harley Reid (Sam Field)

George Wardlaw (Trent Adam Shields)

Ryley Sanders (The Doc)

Ryley Sanders (Emily Jones)


It’s going to be a breakout year for…?

Josh Gibcus (HB Meyers)

Hayden Young (Matt Passmore)

Bailey Humphrey (Hodgey) 

Josh Treacy (Jarred Ophorst)

It was going to be Riley Thilthorpe, but now… Tanner Bruhn (Jimmy D) 

Jeremy Sharp (John Whinnen) 

Aaron Cadman (JB Eddy)

Sam Berry (Jono Mwanangela)

Josh Weddle (Matt Oman)

Marcus Windhager (Jackson Swan)

Angus Sheldrick (Matt Parnell)

Brady Hough (Tim Hunt)

Esava Ratugolea (Slugger)

Thomson Dow (Tim Higgins)

Jye Amiss (Thomas Gibbs)

Matt Rowell (Mrs Mongrel)

Ivan Soldo (Sam Field)

Nasiah Wanganeen-Milera (Trent Adam Shields)

Jamarra Ugle-Hagan to kick 45-50 goals (The Doc)

Keidean Coleman (Emily Jones)


Biggest story of the year 

The AFL start to question other on-field actions that result in head injuries – using knees in marking contests and running with the flight of the ball are put under the microscope in the never-ending quest for safety in an inherently unsafe sport. (HB Meyers)

Sumich rejected again as both WA teams fight to sign a new coach. (Matt Passmore)

Gold Coast secure the signature of coveted target Dustin Martin (Hodgey)

Dual Brownlow medal winners for the first time since 2012 in Nick Diacos and Zak Butters (Jarred Ophorst)

Broken Kennel – Bailey Smith demands trade before mid-season bye, and Bevo gets his marching orders after Dogs lose to the Eagles (Jimmy D) 

Fremantle fail to make the finals yet again leading to Justin Longmuir getting the boot before the end of the season (John Whinnen) 

Tarryn Thomas to announce he’s available at the end of the season, and is courted by several clubs.  (JB Eddy)

The AFL world rejoices as it welcomes the first non-Victorian AFL Grand Final since 2006. (Jono Mwanangela)

It has likely already happened, with the Jimmy Webster incident, so I’ll give you the second biggest story. A star player is forced to miss the Grand Final thanks to a concussion (Matt Oman)

Simon Goodwin sacked as Demons miss the top eight (Jackson Swan)

The AFL scrap academies after Gold Coast’s new crop win them their first final (Matt Parnell)

Hardwick heartbreak: Suns fall *just* short of maiden finals appearance

Tassie Heartbreak. Team identity all but confirmed but stadium deal falls over after shock election result and the licence is revoked by the AFL.

Scott Pendlebury retires after winning his third flag and cracking 400 games (Tim Higgins)

Promoters dream, security guard’s nightmare: Carlton and Collingwood meet in their first final since the 1988 Qualifying Final (Thomas Gibbs)

Alistair Clarkson appears before the International Court of Justice for unwarranted remarks he says about Putin (Peter Monagle)

A coach leaves his wife for an… OLDER woman (Mrs Mongrel)

Luke Beveridge is sacked after the Dogs miss the finals (Sam Field)

The big, big sound claim the coveted double of the AFLM premiership and Social Media bragging rights. (Trent Adam Shields)

Chris Scott steps down as Geelong coach after the Cats miss finals in consecutive years to replace Justin Longmuir at Fremantle (The Doc)

AFL launches investigation into drug use within the League. It keeps rearing its head and the AFL will need to take it more seriously. (Emily Jones)


What’s your one terrible take?

The entire Tasmania deal completely falls over due to political posturing from wankers. Enraged Tasmanian footy fans converge on Salamanca Place and lynch the lot of them. Nobody complains (HB Meyers)

The AFL protesting others from owning the business name ‘flagmantle’ and then registering it themself means they plan on making it easier for the dockers to win a flag within the next couple of years. (Matt Passmore)

Antics from the Demons during their bye week lead to a shock sacking- to which Simon Goodwin brushes off the media simply stating “boys will be boys”. (Hodgey)

Northball to be the most entertaining football to watch for the sheer attacking mindset and Nick Larkey to kick 90+ goals for the year (Jarred Ophorst)

Twin Magic – Scott brothers lead their teams to the Grand Final, and agree to share the cup without a ball being bounced. (Jimmy D) 

Port Adelaide dominate the competition and Ken Hinkley isn’t questioned all season. (John Whinnen) 

Cam Zuhaar’s delayed contract negotiations will cause absolute scenes as his proposed contract would trigger another first-round compo pick, and he’d be worth it. (JB Eddy)

Fremantle hail Logan McDonald the saviour by trading out four first-round picks and offering a whopping $12 million, 12 year deal. (Jono Mwanangela)

Collingwood goes back to back, and Jordan De Goey wins the Brownlow. Both of these achievements will be met with universal admiration from everyone. (Matt Oman)

AFLPA President Patrick Dangerfield says it needs to be easier for key forwards to make their way into media as “there aren’t enough”. (Jackson Swan)

Incredible consistency from the AFL’s Match Review Officer and Tribunal system draws universal acclaim from all quarters. (Tim Hunt)

Stop lugging Geelong in with the Melbourne clubs. It’s more like the “MFL” than “VFL”, if you’re going to go with that angle. The Cats don’t even get 11 home games! Any home finals they get, regardless of opponent (outside of the GF), should be at Kardinia Park as wella s all 11 home games. Aww, you’re upset you couldn’t get a ticket? Too bad! Tell the government to build the Cats a bigger stadium then. (Slugger)

“I guess that’s what they call it the Blues” – Voss sacked with Carlton on 4 wins at the mid-season bye, just 4 months after signing a 2 year contract extension (Tim Higgins)

The Match Review Panel and Tribunal show measured, thought through reasoning in rulings throughout season 2024 (Thomas Gibbs)

Ken Hinkley is fired by Port Adelaide by the end of Round 6, renominates for the job, and gets a new three-year contract by Round Nine (Peter Monagle)

Tasmania and the Northern Territory will continue to bleat about how they don’t get enough attention. Stop being in the arse end of the world (Mrs Mongrel)

The AFL considers the introduction of a second goal umpire after a controversial decision impacts a result (Sam Field)

The AFL announces the introduction of an Orange football for all games in the 2025 season to commemorate the Giants first premiership victory. (Trent Adam Shields)

By the end of the year, the number one player in the competition by the length of the Flemington Straight will be Marcus Bontempelli. (The Doc)

Hardwick’s Suns struggle to be competitive and fall towards the bottom of the ladder. The Suns made a huge move in signing Damien Hardwick, and he has clearly introduced a new style of play. Will it work though?  I hope they’ve not been too ambitious in trying to change everything at once and start the season on the back foot. (Emily Jones)

Every coach who’s arrogant enough to describe their tactics as -ball get struck down by a mystery illness midway through the season (Matt Parnell)