An Oral History of the Carey-Stevens-Archer Triangle

In March 2002, events took place that rocked the football world. At a birthday party for the wife of Glenn Archer at the couple’s Warrandyte home, Kelli Stevens, wife of North Melbourne vice-captain Anthony Stevens, followed Wayne Carey into a toilet and effectively brought a very unsavory chapter to an end and began another.

It occurred at the end of a two month affair between the couple, and spelt the end of the career of Carey at North Melbourne. In effect, it tore the heart out of a football club, its players, and supporters, and cast a dark shadow over the life of all involved for an extended period.

Below is the story of one of the biggest events in AFL history. Yes, it is personal, and many believe it should be put to rest. I understand there are so many more people involved in this that are still impacted by what went on. Children, new partners, families… all would get a sick feeling whenever it is brought up, but the significance of these events on the North Melbourne Football Club and those who love it, were profound.

My family are North Melbourne supporters. I can remember my late father being in complete shock when this happened, just shaking his head as he read the newspaper. Like most football supporters at that time, my respect for Wayne Carey as a player could not have been higher. I’d watched him destroy my Hawks and become the player the Roos were able to build around. And then came Glenn Archer – a wound-up ball of power and aggression just waiting for the opportunity to explode. Finally, there was Anthony Stevens – the quiet achiever, who had worked his way to become one of the best, and most unsung midfielders in the game, so much so that he was elevated to the vice-captaincy alongside Carey.

People were stunned when the news broke. Completely stupefied. I remember my auntie – the most one-eyed supporter I’ve ever met, talking about how much she hated Carey in one instance, and how much she loved him in the next. It clawed at the hearts of North Melbourne supporters. It went much deeper than just a falling out between players. This was not just the breakdown of the Carey and Stevens families; this was the story of the breakdown of the North Melbourne Kangaroos.

And it was also the story of how the club rallied, and picked itself up again.

In terms of magnitude, the events of 2002-03 have probably been surpassed by the Essendon Drug saga in terms of exposure, implications and damaged reputations, but for weeks on end in 2002, and then in the lead up to the Adelaide v North Melbourne clash in 2003, there was no bigger story in footy than the situation between Wayne Carey, Anthony Stevens and Glenn Archer.

This story is in their own words, told as it happened by those involved. This isn’t spin, or adding anything to spice it up. These are the words of Wayne Carey and Sally McMahon, Anthony and Kelli Stevens, Glenn Archer, Brent Harvey, David King, Geoff Walsh, Denis Pagan, Ricky Nixon and others.

 

 

THE LEAD-UP

“Duck and Stevo were like peas and carrots: inseparable as captain and vice-captain. They were super tight, like brothers.” – Brent Harvey; all-time games record holder, in his book, Boomer.

“Stevo was definitely my best friend, and Wayne was definitely up there. No doubt about it.” – Glenn Archer, Open Mike.

“When the affair was happening and I had inklings of it happening, Wayne all of a sudden was becoming even closer to me, which I found strange.” – Anthony Stevens in 2015 article in Redland City Bulletin

“Even before I joined the Kangas, I’d heard talk of women and others being paid hush money over something Wayne had done or said. Whether that was actually true or not, there’d been a perception that Duck was looked after and protected by the club. There were rules for Duck and rules for everyone else.” – Harvey, in Boomer

“Clearly I wasn’t thinking straight. We both understood the risks we were taking in behaving in this most selfish and irresponsible way yet we continued to tempt fate. Maybe we thought we’d never be caught.” – Wayne Carey in his biography, The Truth Hurts

“He was pushing it, it wasn’t mutual despite what he says. I had never felt like that before. It was exciting. No one had shown me this type of attention before.” – Kelli Stevens, The Age 19/09/2015

“Denis (Pagan) always instructed us to be ‘bold, brash and arrogant’. No one took that further than Duck.” – Harvey, in Boomer

“I said ‘you’re not leaving Stevo, he loves you. And I’m not leaving Sally, I love her, so this has just got to stop’.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts.

“We often told each other we loved each other.” – Kelli Stevens, The Age 19/09/2015

“It was another of those situations that I probably, through some very warped reasoning, could have justified in my head at that time. But looking back now, I say to myself; what was I thinking? Why did I risk everything – my friendship with Stevo, my career, my reputation, my family at the Kangaroos – to have this brief affair that was always going to end in tears? It’s a question I ask myself to this day.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts.

“We both said we shouldn’t keep going ahead, but we really enjoyed each other’s company.” – Kelli Stevens, The Age, 19/09/2015

“But I wasn’t taking into account Kelli’s feelings, and the fact that she might not want to walk away from it as casually as I thought I could.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts.

“He rang me and said ‘Why don’t we just come out and say we love each other?’” – Kelli Stevens in a 2015 interview with The West Australian

“I had known for a while, but until you can actually catch the individuals, it is pretty big speculation to query someone about that.” – Anthony Stevens in 2015

 

THE INCIDENT

“I was actually just walking outside and saw him go into the toilet and without thinking just went straight in after him. It was a spur-of-the-moment sort of thing.” – Kelli Stevens, The Age 19/09/2015

“The door opened and Kelli walked in. Just like that. She closed the door behind her but I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I said : What the fuck are you doing?” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts

“He didn’t tell me to get out of the toilet or anything like that. We were in there for two minutes at least. We were kissing, said ‘love you’, and went back to the party.” – Kelli Stevens, The Age, 19/09/2015

“You’re a bloody idiot, why would you do this? Just go out the way you came in. Just get the hell out.”- Carey to Kelli Stevens, from The Truth Hurts.

“After a couple of minutes, she left. I shut the door, locked it, stood there and looked in the mirror and thought, fucking hell, how am I going to get out of this?” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts.

“Bloody hell, maybe no one saw what happened. For a brief moment, I felt relief.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts

“Duck, what the hell is going on? Something’s happened, come with me.” – Archer to Carey, from The Truth Hurts.

“All the time, I was denying everything. I‘d always been taught to deny, deny, deny unless you’ve been caught red-handed. And even if you have been caught red-handed you still deny, deny, deny.”- Carey, from The Truth Hurts.

“We left straight away and, at my suggestion, headed to Stevo’s house in Moonee Ponds. I just wanted to convince him nothing had happened. Arch was there as well. Sally and I drove there together; she had to put up with me protesting my innocence the whole way. I think someone else took Kelli.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts

“Nothing did happen that day – everyone in the room suspected that there was something sinister behind it.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts.

“I kept saying I had no idea, she just walked in on me.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts

“It was only when I reflected on it later that I thought maybe she wanted people to know about us.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts.

 

THE FOLLOWING DAY

“Mate, you won’t believe it. Duck got caught with Kelli Stevens. You don’t know, do ya?” – David King to Brent Harvey, as per Harvey’s bio, Boomer.

“I had an early morning call from Johnny Blakey on the Monday. He didn’t tell me exactly what had happened, but mentioned there had been a bit of a blow up with Stevo and Wayne. He said ‘I don’t think Stevo and Arch will be coming to training at all today’.” – Geoff Walsh (NMFC Football Director)”

“Before training started, Walshy and our CEO, Greg Miller, asked Duck about the rumours that were flying around about Kelli. He denied everything, saying ‘I would never do anything like that to Stevo! No way! Who do you think I am?’” – Harvey, from Boomer

“I told Denis what had happened but said it looked a lot worse than it was. Kelli had walked in on me in the toilet and that’s all there was to it. I’d developed a standard line by then. Denis said that if that’s all that’s happened, son, and you’re telling the truth, you stick by that. He was prepared to back me.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts.

“When I looked around the change rooms, I saw two lockers were still closed. Two players were missing and their lockers were side by side, numbers ten and eleven. If someone had missed a session on the eve of the home and away season, they’d need a bloody good reason, and Denis (Pagan) never accepted weak excuses. Their absences added even more petrol to an already raging fire.” – Brent Harvey in Boomer

“I never imagined it would be the end of Wayne Carey’s career at North Melbourne. I thought it was just a little dust up and a few players may have been pissed, but I thought it would all blow over. I couldn’t believe this could happen between two people who were so close to each other.” – Geoff Walsh.

“In the end, I was the one that actually caught the two of them that night.” – Anthony Stevens, on Open Mike.

Carey’s denials worked for a short while, but Kelli Stevens well and truly put things out in the open.

 

HITTING THE FAN

“On the Wednesday, Kelli put me out of my misery. She rang me again with the news I had dreaded, but always expected. She said she confessed to Stevo and told him everything.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts

“Sally didn’t say much. She was very upset and crying loudly. I could hear her mum in the background, which made me feel even worse. The conversation didn’t last long. It didn’t need to. By then, Sally knew what was going on, and realised that her husband of barely 14 months had completely trashed their marriage.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts.

“After it all happened and Kelli told me what had happened, I pretty much agreed or asked to go and see Wayne, which we did.” – Anthony Stevens in 2015 article in Redland City Bulletin.

“It was at that moment – I remember it very, very vividly – that I knew my career at the Kangaroos was finished.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts.

“Stevo doesn’t want an apology. He just wants to tell you how he feels” – Geoff Walsh, organising a meeting between Carey, Archer and Anthony Stevens.

“I listened to what Stevo had to say; that I was a weak prick, and that I’d betrayed him. Arch stood there and didn’t say a thing.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts.

Players gathered at Arden Street to hear exactly what had happened from the club. The press were ready and waiting for them.

“Tony (Jones) was blocking the doorway, trying to push his cameraman forward. We asked him to leave the area or step back and he wouldn’t. I grabbed him by the throat, pushed him against the wall and urged him to leave, basically I said “Tony, fuck off!” – Geoff Walsh.

Carey, through Ricky Nixon, organised to hold a press conference of his own.

“It was obvious what needed to be done and, after more meetings and preparation and discussions with Wayne, we agreed he would make a very brief personal appearance and read from a prepared statement. And that would be it. He didn’t want to take any questions, as he was on a hiding to nothing and still needed to get his head around the fact that, when he walked out of my office that evening, there was no guarantee his AFL career hadn’t just come to a full stop.” – Ricky Nixon, It’s a Jungle Out There

“Facing the world in a white t-shirt and jeans, he refused to go into any detail about the affair, but announced his decision to resign from the Kangaroos. It was another case of Duck saving his own arse…” – Harvey, in Boomer.

“The matters leading to the statement I am about to make are of a personal nature, and I will not discuss them. For the wellbeing of all concerned I have taken the decision to cease my playing career with the Kangaroos. I regret the circumstances of my actions, which has led to the decision, and the pain it has caused to my wife and my family. I apologise to all my teammates, and all the Kangaroos supporters, however I believe this is the only proper and responsible course of action. Thank you.” – Carey, press conference.

“I just thought a lot of people seemed to lose track that Wayne was hurting, too. It’s not as if he was sitting there going ‘Oh yeah, I’m feeling really pleased with that I’ve done.’ He was crushed and bewildered, which is why I said early on in the piece I was worried for his state of mind and had someone keeping an eye on him, which also upset some people.” – Ricky Nixon, It’s A Jungle Out There

“Never once did I discuss with the Kangaroos the possibility of playing on, of somehow trying to strike a deal and smooth things over so I could continue my career at Arden Street.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts.

“There was no trust in him anymore. Respect for him across the board was zero. Meanwhile, respect for Arch skyrocketed as he stuck by Stevo and showed us all what loyalty was. Duck had ripped to shreds the camaraderie, mateship, spirit and unity he’d worked so hard to build as captain. Our club’s biggest strength was now our biggest weakness.” – Harvey, in Boomer.

 

THE AFTERMATH

“On football’s Richter scale, we are experiencing seismic activity measured in double figures” – Mike Sheahan, Herald Sun 2002

“The media was camped outside my house in Wagga for weeks after. Helicopters hovered over the roof trying to get a shot of me.” – Carey from The Truth Hurts.

“It was getting out of control. Journos camped outside my house for days at a time, and helicopters following me and Stevo up the bush” – Archer on Open Mike.

“Sally was naturally upset when we met and she sounded off how Wayne had been allowed to get away with murder for too long. North Melbourne, me, his mates, herself – we were all to blame for not saying ‘no’ to him as if indulging him like some spoilt child.” – Ricky Nixon, It’s A Jungle Out There

“Stevo’s manager, Ron Joseph, North chairman, Allen Aylett, and Denis Pagan all wanted him to be skipper and step in as Duck’s replacement. I thought it was ridiculous and unfair to overload him with that pressure considering what he was already going through.” – Harvey, in Boomer.

“I said no two or three times in regard to being captain at that time. Probably the clincher was my dad who convinced me to do it because he felt it would be something I’d look back on and be proud of.” – Anthony Stevens.

“Anthony, you may not be big on words but when you play football you are the most articulate person at our club. I don’t want you to change one thing. There are many different leadership styles. I want you to be yourself. Everything else will fall into place.” – Denis Pagan, Herald Sun April 6, 2002

“The selfish actions of Duck and Kelli had thrust the spotlight on Stevo and, by making him captain, the club kept it on him, which was wrong. He didn’t need that, and it was a poor decision.” – Harvey, in Boomer.

“When I stopped feeling sorry for myself I realised how hard she [Sally] must have been doing it. She was a totally innocent victim of my selfishness and stupidity.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts

“Sally’s my wife. She’s the most important person in all this. She’s the person I’ve hurt the most… Sally and Anthony. Obviously I’ve got to talk to her over the next couple of days and try to work through a few things. That’s going to take time, but I’ve got the rest of my life to do that. I’ve got to do that day by day. I want to do that and obviously mend as many relationships as I can. It will be a slow process but it’s something I have to come to terms with.” – Carey, Herald Sun 15 March, 2002

“When we’ve had time to absorb everything, I will sit down with my husband and discuss the future of our marriage” – Sally McMahon, The Australian March 16, 2002

“The last three weeks have been three of the hardest weeks of my life. I’m just trying to be strong, mainly for my daughter, for my family and for the football club. I’m just trying to get through this. I don’t think it’s any good for anyone to be grieving or sooking. You’ve got to get on with life and that’s the way I’ve tried to look at it.” – Anthony Stevens, Herald Sun April 6, 2002

“Emotionally, it drained the hell out of Anthony, and myself in the end to the point where I thought; that’s it for me, I don’t want to play anymore. I just couldn’t see myself playing footy anymore. It was Stevo – he was the one who basically told me to pull my head in and said; If I can get through it and play, I think you can play. He was the one who dragged us through that, which shows how tough that bloke is. To go through what he did and then become the captain and pull everyone together when everyone wanted to fall apart. And he was the glue.” – Archer, on Open Mike.

“Probably one of the bonuses out of the whole scenario is that Wayne left, and because he was such a dominant figure as a captain and in the club, some guys may have been scared to actually have a say in regard to any views on the football club or whatever at that stage. But all of a sudden, when I was appointed captain, it wasn’t just me – it was Glenn Archer who was vice-captain, there was John Blakey, there was David King, there was Leigh Colbert and Matthew Burton, Sav Rocca. We all of a sudden found 20 captains at that football club because they all stood up.” – Anthony Stevens on Open Mike.

Carey left Australia to get away from it all and escape the media scrutiny. It was overseas in the United States that he first dabbled in drug use.

“You’re running away. That’s all you’re doing, just running away. And when you get home, your problems will still be there.” – Sally McMahon from The Truth Hurts

“She was right.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts.

On his return, a meeting between Carey, Archer and Stevens was organised at Carey’s Port Melbourne apartment.

“Stevo, I really hope you can forgive me one day. I hope you can find it within yourself to forgive me for what I did and what happened.” – Carey to Stevens at a meeting between the two and Archer at Carey’s place in 2002 – from The Truth Hurts

“I’d like to offer my apologies and to say I’m sorry. I’m sincerely sorry for all of the pain I’ve caused over the past years to so many people in so many ways. I’ve let down my family, my teammates, my closest friends, the supporters, this great club which has given me so much and of course myself. I may have been successful as a footballer and, as I said before, it’s a huge honour to be here tonight. But nonetheless I have been a failure as an emotionally mature man. For this, I take full responsibility … I offer no excuses or expect no sympathy tonight or any other time. I have started to make private amends to certain people and have more to do and I take full responsibility for the pain I have caused.” – Carey, during his induction to the North Melbourne Hall of Fame in 2009

“He has never gone out of his way to say sorry – for whatever reason.” – Anthony Stevens on Open Mike in 2015

“I most certainly have [apologised to him], and on numerous occasions. He’s been to my apartment with [former teammate] Glenn Archer.” – Carey on Talking Footy, 2015

“It was just me by myself. We sat there and we all shook hands and we went out. There was an apology then. Clearly he doesn’t want to listen. I have stood in front of the team and apologised to the team with him sitting in front of me as well.” – Carey on Talking Footy, 2015

“A little while after that meeting [between Carey, Archer and Stevens], and at their [Stevens and Archer’s] suggestion, Denis [Pagan] rang me and asked if I would come down to the club and talk to the players. Because it was Denis making the request, I agreed immediately. I stupidly didn’t write any notes down; I thought I could just wing it, but in the emotion of the moment, the words didn’t come out. I was all choked up. It was very tough, much tougher than I imagined.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts

Carey also agreed, reluctantly, to an interview to honour his contract with Foxtel, and appeared on the unfortunately-titled ‘White Line Fever’.

“So I was being pressured to do the Foxtel interview because of money. Ricky (Nixon) was saying I’d risk my lucrative deal with the network if I didn’t do the interview. But after losing what I’d lost, I didn’t give a stuff about the money. Not a stuff. It just wasn’t an issue. I would have given every cent I owned in exchange for the life I once had.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts.

“It was simple. I took the responsibility because I was the person in the position of power. I deserved my right whack, and I certainly got my right whack.” – Carey, on his appearance on White Line Fever.

 

THE COMEBACK

“Five clubs eventually expressed interest in drafting me – Collingwood, Hawthorn, Sydney, Essendon and Adelaide.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts.

“Around this time – July and August 2002 – Sally and I were seriously considering giving our relationship another go. We were still grappling with a few issues, and her trust in me had taken a battering after everything that had happened. She put her foot down about Adelaide, though. She went as far to say that if I chose to play with the Crows, our relationship was as good as over.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts.

Ricky Nixon appeared on Triple M as Carey weighed up his options. Frustrated with his client’s lack of decisions, and his lack of returning phone calls, Nixon let his guard down. When asked about Carey’s pending decision, Nixon didn’t hold back.

“I think Monday we’ll definitely know and, touch wood, he’ll be home from the pub in time and we’ll have an answer.” – Ricky Nixon live on Triple M

“I think they should all be wary of taking Wayne Carey, you’ve got to know what you’re in for. I mean it would be silly to answer any differently. You’re buying a used car, you’ve got to check it out.” – Nixon, live on Triple M

In an extraordinary rebuttal, Carey called in and demanded right of reply.

“I’ve tried to ring Ricky and he hasn’t returned my calls, and I know why: because he’s ashamed and he’s scared. I didn’t upset anyone – I haven’t done anything wrong. Apparently the only person I’ve upset is my manager. I probably should have called him four times over the weekend so he could get his name in the paper again and he would have been happy.” – Carey on Triple M

“I’m absolutely furious, and the only lawsuit that I could be in trouble for is upsetting Ricky in a physical way. That’s how upset I am. When it comes from your own manager, that’s what hurts the most… I stuck with him on a handshake deal and I think I’ve looked after him very well. He’s a rich man because of myself and he goes and says stupid things on radio today.” – Carey on Triple M in response to Nixon’s statement.

He later fired Nixon as his manager.

“It was out of concern for what Wayne was doing to himself that I felt compelled to speak out. Wayne wasn’t just a client… we had become really close friends over the years and shared a lot together, both good and bad. So it wasn’t the manager feeling frustrated so much as his friend. I just hated seeing what he was doing to himself. Whether it’s trying to deal with a sense of guilt or just feeling sorry for yourself, you become very self-destructive. So I was trying to pull him back from that and I was also concerned by some of the company he was keeping.” – Ricky Nixon, It’s A Jungle Out There

A few days later, Carey, and new manager, Andrew McConville announced the Adelaide Crows as his 2003 destination.

“What I had done, in effect, was jeopardise my marriage by insisting on joining the one club that Sally had expressed she did not want me to join. Once again, I’d trashed her right to have a say and thought only about myself. With the perspective that hindsight brings, I cannot believe how selfish I was.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts

“We fell out over when he went to Adelaide, to be honest. Wayne’s the most loyal bloke I’ve ever met in my life. He’s a fantastic bloke. Yeah, he’s had his problems and stuffed up, and so have I.” – Ricky Nixon on Open Mike

“Duck signed with Adelaide, dismissing speculation he would never play again. When the fixture was released, we all looked to find out when we would be taking on the Crows.” – Brent Harvey, in Boomer.

 

THE CONFRONTATION

“I’d played 21 finals, three grand finals and numerous state of origin matches, but I’d never been as nervous as I was before that encounter.” – Carey on the clash v North from The Truth Hurts

“When the fixture came out, all the boys were asking, ‘When do we get him?’” – David King

“A number of guys mentioned in the warm up that if they had the chance to clean Duck up, they’d take it.” – Brent Harvey, in Boomer.

“This is not your issue, don’t get involved. You’re there to play footy. Don’t go after Wayne and make a fool of yourself or the club.” – Geoff Walsh

“The build-up was so intense. We almost wanted to see Arch, Stevo and Wayne go at it.” – David King

“By game-time, I was a bit of a mental wreck.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts

“It was a terrible feeling. Everyone was waiting for someone to do something, to hit Wayne, or whatever.” – Archer on Open Mike, regarding playing against Carey

“None of the North players shook my hand or said anything to me as we warmed up. I understood they were sticking solid behind their captain, and this was a way to show their solidarity, and I respected that.” – Carey, in his bio

“After the final warm up was completed and right before the umpire was about to bounce the ball, Arch walked over to Duck as though he was going to take him on. It was the match-up everyone wanted to see and the crowd went absolutely nuts, but Arch made the wise decision to walk away and allow Colby (Leigh Colbert) to carry out the job as planned. He just wanted to try and unsettle Wayne a bit.” – Harvey, in Boomer

Carey got a handy advantage call and broke the tense deadlock in the first quarter, kicking the first goal of the game against his old teammates.

“I was only five metres away when he dropped the ball onto his boot and kicked the first goal of the match. I wanted to hit him, tackle him hard or lay a bump on him so badly, but I didn’t get the chance.” – Harvey, in Boomer

“Going into that game and seeing Wayne in that Adelaide jumper, having him kick the first goal, it was like rubbing salt into the wounds.” – David King

It took until the second quarter for things to get a little fiery.

“Stevo was trying to go after him and Arch was trying to get to him. Wayne was ready and we knew as soon as there was a spark, it would catch fire.” – David King

“In the second quarter, contact was made. Duck kicked the ball and Stevo tried to hip-and-shoulder him into the next week. He almost got him but kind of bounced off and fell to the ground.” – Harvey, in Boomer

Stevens would go onto give away a free to Carey for holding on too long in a tackle not long after that.

“As Duck walked back to take his kick, he turned to Stevo and poked his tongue out as if to say to him ‘Nice try, but bad luck!’. I couldn’t believe he’d react that way. There was no need to retaliate like this – he owed Stevo a lot more respect.” – Harvey, in Boomer.

“Five minutes later I ran maybe 50 metres from my position at centre half forward to lay a shepherd on Stevo, who was chasing another Crows player on the wing.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts

“That’s when things really got out of hand. As I walked back to centre half forward, I saw Arch running toward me and he didn’t look happy. As he got close, he started yelling at me. “I can’t believe you’d do that after everything that’s happened… you’ve got a bloody hide” – something like that. I told him to fuck off, that he was weak as piss as well.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts

“It got a little bit funny there.” –Archer on Open Mike.

“He’d done something to Anthony on the wing. Anthony had fallen over and he sort of gave him a little knee and knocked him over, so my words when I went to him were ‘If anyone should be doing something to anyone, he should be doing it to you’. And then I pulled the fist back, but I was getting older and wiser, and I didn’t throw it.” – Archer, on Open Mike.

“He let rip with a short jab that hit me in the stomach and then feigned a haymaking punch, which made me flinch. I responded by cocking my elbow and threatening to belt him back. We were ready to rumble right then and there; it was that close to all-out war.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts

“Soon after that little spot-fire burnt out, Arch had his turn. He charged over to Duck and tried to give him a little jab to the guts…. and just as it was simmering down, Arch went back for more. He bumped into Duck again and said a few choice words before cocking his fist and threatening to throw a punch. Duck flinched and immediately went to throw one back.” – Harvey, in Boomer

“This is getting close to back-alley stuff at the moment.” – Dennis Commetti on commentary.

“Put it this way – had I thrown that punch, I would’ve got about five on the chin pretty quick, because he was the best that I’d ever seen. In and out of the ring, he was very good at holding his hands up.” – Archer, on Open Mike

“If I was to guess, I would say that Arch would have fought on adrenaline, hatred and anger while Duck would have sat back and punched him six times before Arch even realised.” – Harvey, in Boomer

“Arch and I eventually backed off, content instead to just mouth off at each other.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts

“He (Denis Pagan) was like a father utterly dismayed at seeing two of his sons fighting each other.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts

“It did destroy the fabric of the football club, and yeah we picked the pieces up a bit but we were never quite the same. – Denis Pagan on Carey’s The Truth Hurts Podcast

“One moment, in the dying minutes, with the game well and truly over, stays in my mind until this day. I took a mark by the point post and was going back to take a shot at goal. As the umpire put me back on an angle, I looked across and saw Stevo about four or five metres away, just staring at me. Initially I was going to tell him to piss off, like I would any player who was trying to get in my face and psych me out. But straight away, I felt this acute sense of remorse and didn’t say a thing. It was quite eerie. A surge of guilt swept over me. I couldn’t keep eye contact with him. His stare was so piercing, as if he was looking right through me.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts

The Crows would go on to win by 54 points, taking the sting out of the game in the second half.

“It was heartbreaking not to be able to get the win for Stevo.” – Harvey, in Boomer

“I never thought the match would affect me as much as it did. And from what I heard later, it affected Stevo almost as dramatically.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts

 

AND SINCE THEN…

The waters in the Carey-Stevens-Archer relationship seem to be muddied at times, and clear at others. I suppose a lot of it can depend on when you catch someone, whether they’re trying to say the right thing, or if a little resentment bubbles to the top.

Prior to their 2016, 20-year premiership reunion, Carey and Stevens met at Arden Street at the request of Glenn Archer, who had run into Carey on an overseas holiday.

“Arch and I have seen one another many times at many different functions, and had a chat. But I was able to sit down and have an in-depth chat with Arch about all the things that have transpired in the last 14 years. It was a really good thing.” – Carey in 2016 after meeting Archer in Bali

“No, [Wayne and I are] not friends anymore. I see him at the odd footy function, or North function. It’s generally once a year, but always say hello and we’re always civil to each other, there’s no doubt about that, but no, we’re not friends anymore” – Archer on Open Mike

“I’ll never forgive him but I’ve accepted his apology. You never forgive a broken bond and trust” – Stevens in 2016

“A heartfelt apology. that’s where it started and that’s where it ended.” – Carey in 2016 after meeting with Stevens at NMFC

“Wayne can get back and be involved and he’s the greatest player to ever play at this football club” – Stevens

“Probably the biggest emotion that comes out of it is sadness” – Archer, on Open Mike

“Wayne was a huge part of the football club. He was an absolute superstar and probably one of the best to ever play the game, and definitely the best player that’s ever played at North Melbourne.” – Stevens

“Wayne’s abrupt departure from Arden Street was the saddest and most shocking time I’d experienced in footy.” – Harvey, in Boomer

“It was a disaster of my own making” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts

“It was the greatest tragedy in my time in coaching” – Denis Pagan on Carey’s The Truth Hurts Podcast in 2023

“When I think about how close everybody was, and how close you (Carey) were… it was tragic. It was something that I still can’t believe that happened.” – Pagan on The Truth Hurts Podcast

“I haven’t forgiven myself. I’ve put a lot of work in and I’ve spoken to a lot of people and I continue to speak to a lot of people. The Wayne Carey that sits in front of you now is different to what was 13 years ago, or five years ago.” – Carey.

 

OUTTAKES

Below are a series of quotes I picked up for this article, but didn’t add. Maybe they shed a little more light on the subject- maybe not, but for me, this was the biggest story of my life as a football supporter. I remember the feeling around it as someone not at all connected to any of the people. I can only imagine how it must have felt to play out with the eyes of the football world watching your every move.

Make no mistake – this is not a glorification of the events – if anything I think reading the direct quotes adds a certain raw element to the story. This was disastrous for all involved, and though some have experienced dark times in the years since, all parties have come out the other side and are living their lives well.

“I felt like the world was spinning out of control” – Brent Harvey, from Boomer

“Duck started at North with Stevo, grew as a leader with him by his side and won a flag with him. It was like stabbing a brother in the heart.” – Harvey, from Boomer

“Wayne developed a sense of invincibility, that no matter what he did, the club would take care of it and make it go away.” – Harvey, from Boomer

“If you wanted {it} that bad, you would just go to a knock shop, wouldn’t you? You wouldn’t take your best mate’s wife.” – Terry McMahon, father of Sally.2002

“No, there was definitely no sex in the toilet. The situation was in front of 120 people. I went to the toilet and, in front of all those people, Kelli walked in after me in front of her husband, in front of everyone there. Anthony waited for her to come out, which was a few seconds later, and the night was ended.” – Carey

“I can assure you if he comes around here again he’ll be going out in a box.” Terry McMahon

“I didn’t want to put Denis in a situation where his loyalties were divided.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts

“There is no doubt I became seriously depressed. Knowing what I know now about the illness, I can see there were many other times in my life I was depressed.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts

“During one interview, at a time I was doing it really hard, he [Ricky Nixon] said I was in such a depressed state that I was on ‘suicide watch’. I didn’t like him discussing my state of mind so publicly; I thought he was way out of line and told him it was a breach of trust. But I’d be lying if I said suicide hadn’t crossed my mind as a final solution to my problems.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts

“I have to admit that deep down in my most selfish heart there were times that I’d think: you forgave Kelli and took her back, but you can’t forgive me. There was a feeling of being cut adrift.” – Carey, from The Truth Hurts

“When we won the premierships, one of the things I was always looking forward to was the reunions, and the reunions are still good, as you catch up with the other guys, but there’s this tension in the air that I don’t like, and no one else likes.” – Archer, on Open Mike

“I feel like I’d be betraying Anthony if I was to do that and personally, I don’t think I really want to.” – Archer on catching up with Carey, on Open Mike

“For a guy that preached anti-drugs more than me at the footy club, I don’t know what happened.” – Archer on Carey’s spiral into drug use on Open Mike

“It’s actually a sad situation because it is a bit of a broken bond between the players” – Stevens on Open Mike about reunions.

“Let’s face it, from the moment Wayne told me what was going on, he was not only scrambling to try to save his marriage, but the crisis had the potential to tear North Melbourne apart.” – Ricky Nixon, It’s A Jungle Out There

“Time heals everything, doesn’t it? You’re always going to have your little personal issues, but I’m a pretty forgiving person, I suppose.” – Anthony Stevens, Sydney Morning Herald June 25, 2004

“I suppose it’s going to get harder and harder over the next couple of weeks, and I’ve got to front it.” – Carey, Herald Sun March 15, 2002

“I’ve been talking to her mum. She’s obviously upset, but Sally’s with her family. She’s got good people around her as well. With all the stuff going on around us we haven’t really had the chance to sit down and really talk.” – Carey, Herald Sun March 15, 2002

“He showed a real lack of thought. He doesn’t seem to have any empathy.” – Kelli Stevens in The Age September 19, 2015 after her ex-husband appeared on Open Mike.

“It’s like I’ve been thrown to the wolves again. It’s been an emotional few days, it’s like a nightmare that never stops.” – Kelli Stevens, The Age September 19, 2015.

“Over the past five years in particular, Wayne has been a very dedicated, loving father. We often spend time with them both and I think it’s lovely for the girls to have the relationship they do.”- Sally McMahon, The Age 4 August 2016