THE MONGREL PUNT ROLLING ALL-AUSTRALIAN TEAM
We have reached the time in the season when every wanna be footy pundit, the so-called footy experts, and the AFL itself choose to start naming rolling All-Australian teams. We all know that the ‘experts’ have a desperate need to shoehorn midfielders into random positions, social media ‘influencers’ pick their favourite players only, and then players get picked on potential, hype, or because they are ‘training the house down’.
Here at The Mongrel Punt, we pride ourselves on giving educated takes and blending our love of footy with humour.
So, with all that said *cue drum roll* here’s the first and current iteration of The Mongrel Punt’s Rolling All-Australian Team.
FB: Archie Roberts Tom Barrass Josh Worrell
HB: Lachie Ash Alex Pearce Luke Parker
C: Brad Hill Bailey Smith Bailey Williams
HF: Kysaiah Pickett Nick Larkey Nick Watson
FF: Jack Gunston Ben King. Isaiah Dudley
Foll: Max Gawn Zak Butters Isaac Heeney
Int: Luke Jackson Lachie Neale Will Ashcroft Jack Sinclair Justin McInerney
As a point of difference to other teams, we name players in THEIR ACTUAL PLAYING POSITION. While this is on behalf of The Mongrel Punt, please channel any frustration towards me, the resident oracle, The Prophet.
I’m not going to spend a lot of time providing my reasons behind these selections; I imagine that most educated and aware football followers can answer that. I won’t do what the media and so-called experts do, and treat you like you have no idea.
What I will say, to clarify, only having five midfielders, if this team has been picked based upon pre-eminent position played, and my determination of the best/most influential/most impactful players in those positions. It is not solely stats-based, and selection has nothing to do with your surname and commentators creaming themselves over hitting an uncontested ten-metre kick to an unopposed teammate … as Disco would say, his dead nanna could do that.
What you have no doubt come for is a chance to air your grievances with me for not picking your favourite player. Or someone from your team you think should be in the side.
The Missing
Now, to those who are unlucky to miss out, and there are some familiar names and some I’ve been reading a lot about in either other people’s teams or in social media comments.
I’ll list their name and then a brief statement about why they weren’t picked.
Naicos (Nick Daicos) – he’s only on the top of this list because there will no doubt be someone who asks. Has struggled a little bit to start the season with injury/niggles, getting more attention on-field, and others have had brighter starts. Missed a game, as well.
The Forgotten Ruck (Brodie Grundy) – I daresay there will be numerous comments about Grundy. He has been very good, and his ability to cover the ground and use his agility to his advantage has seen him maximise the new ruck rules to his advantage. However, he still remains behind Max Gawn and even Luke Jackson, given the latter’s flexibility of role.
Dick Cyclone (Josh Treacy) – this omission pains me a little bit. I’m a big fan of Treacy, and in recent weeks, he has shown he is a match-winner at both ends. He is high in contested marks, hits the scoreboard and is very stiff to miss!
Mr Underrated (Cal Wilkie) – realistically, I flipped a coin between him and Josh Worrell. Both deserve to be in the side, and Wilkie is unlucky to miss. I think, based on who the Crows have played, Worrell has had to play on some better players and that is why he is in the side.
Billy Gunn (Jordon Butts) – Butts has probably been the best lockdown key back thus far in 2026. He is one to watch in terms of coming into the side if he maintains this level.
The Unluckiest Defender (Josh Battle) – another unlucky omission is Josh Battle. Chatting with the Mongrel writers, there was a push for him to come in. Many suggested he should be in, and it became a line-ball decision as to his inclusion. He is on the bubble and playing well. There is a sense of almost inevitability about the Hawks this year, and that flows through to Battle and ending up in this team.
Pantomime Jack (Jack Ginnivan) – I really wanted him to be in this side, but he hasn’t played enough either as a forward or on the wing to displace others in those roles. I feel like, should his form continue, he will be in the side in some point. We just need ChatGPT to tell his coach to play him in one position so he can be selected.
There are many others who could be considered unlucky, and likely you’ll tell me in the comments. Remember: I don’t solely go by stats, and I pick players in their primary position. None of this 80% midfielders on the wing or up-forward nonsense.
Let us know your team, or who you’d replace and why – don’t just blindly change it because someone in your team wasn’t picked.
Stay tuned for more from The Mongrel Punt, and for additional reasons to tell me I must not watch footy because you don’t like the team I’ve selected.