Good teams win on the road. You know it, I know it, and the league knows it, as well.
Last season, the Brisbane Lions stormed to a second-straight flag. They also topped the Road Warrior Ladder, runaway winners from the midway point of the season. Interstate, they won seven games, and drew another, indicating that travelling during September was not an issue for them.
And when September rolled around, it turns out it wasn’t.
If you want to finish top four, you have to pick up big road wins, and after the whole league, bar two teams, hit the road for Gather Round, it is time to assess where things sit in terms of away form.
We’ve heard it for years – the teams based outside Victoria have it tougher.
I get it, though. I really do. Forced to travel interstate almost every second week, some teams clock up enormous miles as they traverse the country to be part of this sport we love.
Meanwhile, we get some Victorian-based clubs cracking the sads when they have to play at Marvel Stadium instead of the MCG, and vice versa. Or those who get a little nasty when a move away from Kardinia Park is floated.
So, how do the teams fare away from home, and who is travelling best at the moment?
The Mongrel has devised a little ladder to assess who is the best road team in the league. Oh, the Vic teams will still get a look in if they’re good enough, and whilst I fully expect a number of fans to say this system is rigged to favour non-Victorian teams… I really don’t care. Stop your whining.
So, how does it work?
The Road Warrior Ladder is named after one of the best Tag Teams of all time. Don’t come at me with your Demolition garbage, or your Powers of Pain crap… they were Road Warrior rip-offs… who were, in turn, rip-offs of the 1980s movie, Mad Max.
It was called The Road Warrior in the United States because… geez, I’m not a film buff. Do your own homework.
Anyway, you get four points for an interstate win and two points for a win at an away venue that IS NOT played at the venue you consider your home ground. I don’t care if it’s not your home game – you’re still at the ground you play your home games. The Road Warrior Ladder Nazi isn’t concerned with your feelings – just facts.
Tasmania is considered a home game for Hawthorn. You choose to play your home games there – you cop it. Same with GWS and Canberra – if it’s your choice, you wear it.
Now that my belligerence is out of the way, let’s get to business.
THE ROAD WARRIOR LADDER AFTER ROUND FIVE
1 – SYDNEY – 8 PTS (160 score differential in wins)
2 – BRISBANE – 8 PTS (59)
3 – ST KILDA – 8 PTS (22)
4 – FREMANTLE – 8 PTS (16)
5 – WESTERN BULLDOGS – 8 PTS (11)
6 – GOLD COAST – 4 PTS (68)
7 – GWS – 4 PTS (56)
8 – GEELONG – 4 PTS (46)
9 – ESSENDON – 4 PTS (45)
10 – PORT ADELAIDE – 4 PTS (42)
11 – HAWTHORN – 4 PTS (40)
12 – ADELAIDE – 4 PTS (14)
13 – WEST COAST – 4 PTS (2)
14-18 – COLLINGWOOD, NORTH MELBOURNE, CARLTON, RICHMOND, MELBOURNE – NO WINS
ANALYSIS
The Swans have bolted to the top, by virtue of the pounding they gave the Eagles in Roudn Four, winning by a monstrous 128 points, as they demonstrated as much mercy as my four year old with a plate of sausages.
They topped the Road Warrior Ladder back in 2024, and made it all the way to the Grand Final before crashing and burning, but their start to 2026 is pretty difficult to fault.
Of course, the reigning champs aren’t far behind, and with an MCG date against the Dees on the cards, could supplant the Swans at the top of the table this weekend.
West Coast with a win on the board already eclipse their 2025 total of… zero.
It leaves Richmond as the team with the longest time between drinks on the road, with 2024 the last time they performed away from Melbourne.
With a win against the Crows this week, the Saints could jump to top spot, as well. They have already knocked over Port and GWS on the road, and have played better footy away from Marvel. Don’t write this team off – Adelaide is a massive ask, but the Saints are building and will be in the window by next year.
UPCOMING FOUR-POINT GAMES
ESSENDON head up to People First Stadium to take on the Suns
PORT ADELAIDE would love to upset the Hawks at Marvel
ST KILDA stay in Adelaide to face the Crows
And BRISBANE fly into the MCG to face the Dees
UPCOMING TWO-POINT GAMES
GWS go for a wander across town to see their old pals, the Swans
The WESTERN BULLDOGS make the trip down the highway to take on the Cats
FOOTNOTE OF THE WEEK
I want to touch on the Pies, maybe to my own detriment, here.
When did kicking five goals in a loss become a gutsy effort? At what stage did playing ultra-defensive footy and still failing to get the job done warrant excuses?
That’s what I’ve heard over the past few days. As if the barracking in the commentary box wasn’t enough (that was the Fox Footy crew, for the record), the number of journos and media personalities that have defended Collingwood’s abysmal game plan, shocking football, and eventual loss, has been astounding.
Whilst some have uttered compliments about the Dockers through gritted teeth, so many of these experts have failed to address something pretty important – the Pies looked impotent when going forward, and this, my friends, is a big issue.
You often hear people point out how a team can play not to lose in the final stages of a game, and how it is a poor style of play. You know what I mean, right? The team goes into its shell, tried to lock the footy in, and wants stoppage after stoppage to kill the clock.
That’s basically what Collingwood did the entire game!
And the analysis?
It’s been pretty barren.
Make no mistake, if Ross Lyon’s St Kilda trotted out that performance, the media would be all over him, but because it’s Collingwood, we haven’t heard too much criticism, at all.
This week against Carlton will be a massive test for the Pies. Not because Carlton are good (not for four quarters, at least) but because I am not really sure the Pies are, either. Five games in, they’ve kicked 80+ points once.
West Coast has done it twice.
Collingwood need to respond.
As always, massive thanks to those who support this work. You can see the amount of care that goes into it. I love footy, I love writing about it, and I hope you enjoy reading it. Without you, this whole thing falls over. Sincerely… thank you – HB
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