As we come to the pointy end of the season, priorities are shifting for those teams that are out of finals contention. Retirements and the sentimentality that flows on from those announcements topple the actual spectacle for importance.
It’s really one of the great things about AFL that at the end of each season you can witness champions applauded off in unison by hordes of opposing fans. In this particular clash, Richmond saw the storied careers of premiership skipper Trent Cotchin and premiership lynchpin Jack Riewoldt draw to a close, whilst North Melbourne saw its heart and soul, tough nut Jack Ziebell, play his last game.
I could very easily prattle on about the accolades accrued over time by these three blokes, but it’d probably make for a rather shallow piece, and as a non-Richmond fan, I can’t promise that there wouldn’t be an MRP-related jibe somewhere in there either. As such, in the interest of maintaining the reputation of HB’s publication, into which he has poured his blood, sweat and tears, I’d best discuss the events of the match as well. In the manner of Nick Larkey, let’s dive in.
First thing’s first; I’ll get the undesirable whinging out of the way. The four umpire model does not work.
There just isn’t a sufficient talent pool. Egregiously bad calls have happened in most games that I’ve watched this year, and this one was no exception, with no less than three absolute head scratchers; a free kick to Nick Larkey against Kamdyn McIntosh, which I’ll touch on later in this piece, an ever-so-soft reversal call pinging Blake Drury for illegal contact, and a dangerous tackle call against Tristan Xerri on Toby Nankervis.
None of these three decisions were there.
At all.
I don’t want to name umpires who I don’t think are up to it and will always look to defend them against ridiculous accusations of corruption, but bugger me if the standard of umpiring isn’t on the floor at the moment. Not to mention the fact that I’m also unsure what a group of three umpires would miss that a group of four would see. At any given time, with the four umpire model, there’s an umpire ages away from the play. Back to three we go please, Andrew. And maybe simplify some of the rule interpretations while you’re at it.
Now that that’s out of the way, I can move on to the interesting stuff.
As the first quarter progressed, touches of class were necessary to spark both teams out of a rather dazed funk. For Richmond, Shai Bolton (fun fact, I read his flat’s water meter in 2021) was a constant menace whenever he went near the ball in the first term, and this continued throughout the game, as he made North defenders look hapless with his weird, floppy Indian-rubber style of evasive movement. Shai ended the day with four goals, (including one where he danced around about three defenders to snap truly from 25m out), 25 disposals, 12 score involvements, and a ton of hurt factor.
He’s not quite reached the heights of last year, but this display was a timely reminder of his class. He’s a terrifyingly talented player. I’ll probably be seeing him wreak football havoc in my dreams tonight.
Dustin Martin decided to wind things back with a vintage performance too (or at least as vintage as you can get whilst possessing two thirds of the leg speed you once had). Not only was it a statistically outstanding performance (31 touches and three goals isn’t too shabby) but his disposals generally inflicted maximum damage, as well.
A regular sight for viewers involved a gather or receive at half forward and a subsequent spot-up of a leading teammate with one of those inch-perfect penetrating passes that he was once so famous for. He also flexed his muscles as a one-out full forward, taking an effortless one-handed mark in the goalsquare as poor Bailey Scott attempted to spoil. I feel a tad nauseated even writing this, but the footy romantic in me thoroughly enjoyed many elements of Dusty’s performance. There’s just something about an ageing star showing he still has it, even if it is against pre-school level opposition.
For North, the clear and obvious standout over the first three quarters was Tarryn Thomas. Say what you will about his past and the people he’s gotten mixed up with, the man can football.
In the absence of Luke Davies-Uniacke, someone had to pick up the slack in the engine room, and TT was the man to do so. Time and time again he would emerge from the centre stoppage, gliding across the turf in that deceptively quick fashion, and looking to spot up a teammate. He also tacked on a couple of goals and behinds for good measure in what was as complete a performance as one could hope for with the pathetic preseason that he had this year following his re-integration into the club.
Inevitably, he fell away as the third quarter ticked on, and he barely did a thing during the last quarter, as he was clearly focused on trying to breathe without losing consciousness, but his talents are so plainly obvious. I have no doubt he’ll have several suitors this trade period, and should he stay at North (a 50-50 proposition in my personal opinion), then next trade period, also. If I’m being honest, I think it’s going to be an extremely uphill battle to keep him at the club beyond 2024, but we’ll see how that plays out.
Special mention also to Harry Sheezel, who really should have the Rising Star award wrapped up at this point after a 38-disposal performance. Honestly, he’d almost be North’s most composed player. He’s certainly North’s smartest player. And the defence would’ve been far more of a basket case without him this year. Yet… somehow I feel that the Zeitgeist is still in Ashcroft’s favour, and that a 25 touch, 1+ goal performance next week against the Suns is necessary for Harry to prise the award from Will’s grasp. I don’t agree with the Zeitgeist, but it’s just a sense that I’m getting. One thing’s for sure, at any rate. If Sheezel wins the North B&F, as is looking increasingly likely, it’s going to be awkward if he doesn’t also take home the Rising Star.
Something else that caught my eye was the continued emergence of Eddie Ford as the resident pest at North Melbourne. It’s been a while since the club had a player who regularly talked the talk and then backed it up with his football (Michael Firrito is the most recent example that comes to mind) but Eddie seems to take a similar delight in riling up the opposition.
We all saw him comparing his disposals tally to James Sicily’s a few weeks back, and this time he was getting stuck into the Richmond defensive unit with some verbal argy-bargy after they allowed a Paul Curtis mark and goal, a provocation which ultimately led to Kamdyn McIntosh losing his cool and shoving Nick Larkey, who duly received the free and nailed his sixth goal.
Now, I’m going to jump in here for a second just to set the record straight, as I don’t want to be accused of undue bias. It shouldn’t have been a free kick and Larkey should be ashamed of the flop that he executed in response to what was nothing more than a brisk ‘what are you looking at’ shove. That kind of crap really has no place in the game. However, McIntosh similarly needs to be aware that the umpire is right there when these scuffles start, and that it’s braindead to even risk infringing on an opponent whilst tempers are running high. Right. Mediation session over.
Whilst North’s avenue to goal, as it really has been since 2021, was Larkey or bust, Richmond had a far more even spread of contributors. Aside from the aforementioned Bolton and Martin, the forward line took on a distinctly makeshift vibe, constructed from flotsam and jetsam that you’d find on the nature strip during the lead-up to hard rubbish collection. But this didn’t matter, as Richmond time and time again took advantage of North’s poor transition defending to get the pill into the hands of their part-time forwards. Ivan Soldo kicked 2 goals 3 behinds and was a menace all day for North defenders with his surprisingly sturdy marking. He also had one set shot that looked for all the world like a miskick, sailing through at a trajectory and speed that a ruckman can only produce accidentally.
Noah Balta was also thrown forward late in the game by the Richmond coaching staff, and seemed to revel in the role, kicking two last-quarter goals in quick succession.
This flurry put the result beyond doubt and afforded the Richmond playing group the luxury of finding Jack Riewoldt for a final set shot goal. It wasn’t to be, however, as Jack managed to misfire on no less than three set shots in the final quarter. Despite this rather anticlimactic chain of events, each moment involving either Riewoldt or Cotchin throughout the final quarter was met with thunderous cheering and applause, and even though I did my part in trying to put Jack off his game during those set shots, I could appreciate the occasion.
It also seems poetic that Jack Ziebell missed a shot up the other end shortly after Riewoldt’s third miss, minutes before the final siren. Sometimes the fairytale ending is just that; a fairytale. For a North champion, that’s the most North way you could possibly go out.
And so the final curtain fell on three prolific careers with Richmond comfortably in the lead, 14.17.101-10.12.72.
I’d say 90% of the close-to-60,000 fans at the ground remained in their seats as the retirees made their speeches, and even though I did leave before Riewoldt and Cotchin made their lap of honour (gotta beat the traffic, after all), it was an atmosphere full of affection and universal appreciation for what these blokes have done for the game.
Long live footy, and long live the players that make this great game what it is. (with the exception of most of the North list, obviously).
Till next time.