Jimmy Ayres and his slippery drawers are back, with this week’s edition of the renowned… Sliding Drawers.
Adelaide
If…
Last week’s Wayne Carey Cup turned out to be a fizzer…
Then…
This week’s clash with Essendon ought to be a thrilling contest, minus the anti-inflammatory powder.
Brisbane
If…
Joe Daniher bending it like Beckham straight into the Richmond cheer squad didn’t make you smile…
Then…
You’re either Noah Balta, or the guy who copped it smack in the scone.
Carlton
If…
You barrack for Carlton and you’re wondering what that strange void in your chest is…
Then…
It’s a lack of disappointment after failing to lose for the past three weeks.
Collingwood
If…
Reading J.Noble in the stats sheet doesn’t make you wonder if he’s still dating Nidia…
Then…
You’ll probably have no idea whether she ever recovered from Tajiri’s mist or not.
Essendon
If…
Strength is born from heartbreak…
Then…
Essendon fans could move mountains.
Fremantle
If…
There’s one player that the wider AFL community tend to forget just how good he was in his day…
Then…
It’s Nat Fyfe.
Geelong
If…
You want Gary Rohan firing in a final…
Then…
All you need to do is get him to knock out one of your best players. Keep your eyes peeled, Patrick.
Gold Coast
If…
There are no certainties outside of death and taxes…
Then…
The next closest thing would be Caroline Wilson nominating Stuart Dew’s job as up for grabs after a loss.
GWS
If…
There was a shining contest out of this otherwise frustratingly poor game…
Then…
It was Jack Viney vs Tom Green.
Hawthorn
If…
Jack Martin kicks three goals on you…
Then…
That’s a competent measuring stick of just how poorly you played.
Melbourne
If..
Pidgeot’s broken foot sees your leading goal kicker miss the remainder of the Home and Away season…
Then…
Send him back to the Pokemon Centre and withdraw a like-for-like replacement from the PC.
North Melbourne
If…
Ben McKay leaves at the end of the season…
Then…
The whole ‘Barry’ McKay conspiracy takes yet another interesting turn.
Port Adelaide
If…
Aliir Aliir has any confusion in the direction of his career post-footy…
Then…
A few good suggestions for the defender would be; a professional cuddler, a grocery carrier, a rock climbing instructor, or a 4×4 adventure driver – basically anything that requires you to constantly hold on to something.
Richmond
If…
Tylar Young’s generosity gave the defender the urge to leave Joe Daniher a gift…
Then…
Perhaps something wrapped and left in the opposition change rooms would have been a little less embarrassing.
St Kilda
If…
Ross the Boss needed a reminder that he was truly back at St Kilda…
Then…
Nothing would scream St Kilda more than a near loss to the bottom of the ladder side that just came off a 643 point loss the week before.
Sydney
If…
Friday night’s game went into overtime…
Then…
We would have seen another seven behinds kicked.
West Coast
If…
If it has been nothing but doom and gloom for 99.9999999% of this season to date…
Then…
Last week falls firmly into the 0.0000001%. The kids looked alright.
Western Bulldogs
If…
There’s one question that still burns in the back of my mind…
Then….
It’s: does Adam Treloar still think Collingwood have a better list than Richmond?
And this one’s for the AFL….
If…
We allow recency bias to cloud our judgement when making inductions…
Then…
The Hall of Fame might as well be The All Included Fame.
Like this free content? You could buy Jimmy a beer, or a coffee, or something to trim his nasal hair as a way to say thanks. He’ll be a happy camper.
