It had to happen.
Over the past couple of years, I have chronicled several of the game’s villains, including Sam Newman, Wayne Carey, and Rene Kink. You can see all Villains articles here. It was only a matter of time until the name Kane Cornes graced the series.
And here we are.
What do you think about when you hear the name of the younger Cornes brother?
Is it a side-by-side shot with Glen Quagmire?
Is it a picture of him in full fireman’s kit?
Or is it of a man that strung together over 300 games for his beloved Port Adelaide, won four – count ‘em – FOUR John Cahill Medals as the Power’s Best and Fairest player. Only the great Russell Ebert has more. And Cornes also has a premiership medal to his name?
My guess is it’s the latter.
Much like Newman, Cornes has become more of a villain since his playing days concluded, with his outspokenness and flair for the dramatic, much in the style of US-sports analysts, rubbing people the wrong way at every turn.
And yet, there they are, lapping up his words to be annoyed with him all over again a couple of days later. They’re like moths to a flame, and Cornes continues to pour petrol on the fire.
There was a time when Eddie McGuire was Mr Everywhere in footy, but that mantle could likely be bestowed on Cornes in the current footy landscape, particularly given his recent switch to Channel Seven. Just how much of the Vol-Kane-O will we see on the host broadcaster?
I don’t believe he’ll be starved for opportunities.
Did you know that Cornes won the Alf Brown award in 2024? It is presented to the best overall media performer in regard to footy. Hear that? The best. He beat Gerard Whateley for that award, and I have to say, I actually prefer Cornes over Whateley’s snivelling preaching.
I want to go back to the Newman comparison for a moment, as I reckon there is something to it.
When you think of Newman now, do you think of him as a footballer, or the bloke who used to be on The Footy Show, and now has a host of contentious opinions about a range of topics?
My guess is that only those who watched Newman play will remember him as a footballer. To most others, he was viewed as an obnoxious remnant of the game.
Is that where public opinion will end up landing with Cornes in ten, or fifteen years?
Newman also played 300 games, was captain of the club, won two Carji Greeves Medals as the Cats’ Best and Fairest, and is in their team of the century. It’s a brilliant footy CV, and yet his post-footy exploits are the first thing to leap to mind whenever his name is mentioned.
It would be a shame if the same thing happened to Cornes. 300-game careers are special and should not be diluted by someone essentially playing a character after they retire.
I know a few people will roll their eyes at that statement. After all, Kane brings the criticism upon himself, right? Nobody is forcing him to have an opinion on absolutely everything, No one is twisting his arm as he attempts to generate heat with his comments.
And nobody is making anyone read them or listen to them, either.
In 2024, we had Joel Selwood join the Channel Seven commentary team. I love Selwood – one of my all-time favourite players – but as a colour commentator, you could have thrown a sedated seal into the box and got as much insight. Cornes, on the other hand, is sharp as a tack. He knows the game, and both sees things, and comments on things people either miss, or are too afraid to broach.
Basically, people hate him for saying the things nobody else has the guts to say.
The most famous story from Cornes’ playing career seems to be the one from the latter stages, where he was sent to tag Nat Fyfe. And this was peak Nat Fyfe, in 2014.
After Fyfe grabbed ten touches in the first quarter, Ken Hinkley sent Cornes to him to slow him down.
He looked at me in amusement almost, I’ll never forget the look on his face, and he said to me with the ball only about 5m away, he forgot the ball and he just looked at me and said ‘bring your old skinny frail bones with me, we’re going straight to the goalsquare’
Fyfe got isolation on Cornes and quickly kicked a goal. He followed it up with this.
He looked at me and said ‘told you old man, it’s going to be a pretty rough day for you’, he said. That was the moment that had me questioning my football future.
Now, think about that for a minute.
The story wasn’t about the day Cornes had 39 touches in the 2010 season opener, driving his team to a first-up win. It wasn’t about the day he snagged four goals against the Demons in 2005. It wasn’t the day he laid a career-best 15 tackles in a narrow win against the Eagles, either, or the day he got to hold the premiership cup aloft.
No, the story he told, and the part of his career you now know best, was the moment he knew he was dusted as a player.
For someone I once heard called a loud-mouthed, self-important, and a blowhard, that’s a fair amount of humility on display from Cornes in opting to recant that particular story above all others.
It was almost as though he did it for your benefit. Like he knows his role as a media personality – to entertain.
Port have had better players than Cornes, and he would be one of the first to admit it. Faster, stronger, better-skilled – there has been a few. But in an age where only what someone has done recently is taken into account, forgetting just how good a player Kane Cornes was is not only silly, it’s ignorant.
So, this year, as he grinds your gears by telling you that your favourite player is not fit enough, didn’t go hard enough, or let the team down, don’t hate on him for having that opinion. Hell, most of the time, he is right on the money. It’s just that when it comes from him, you’re conditioned to be outraged.
He was a very good footballer, a great tagger, and he has become an excellent media performer.
Better than he was as a fireman, anyway.
And now, he’s the latest Mongrel Villain.
As always, massive thanks to those who support this work. It is a labour of love for me, and having you guys as members of the site basically keeps me going. So sincerely… thank you – HB
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