Sydney and Geelong. Two teams that comprise one of the more pleasing colour schemes in this league. And for the first half of this game, at least, they also provided one of the more pleasing spectacles. It was hard, tough, skilful, and close. The term ‘kamikaze pinball’ came to mind as I witnessed it. I’m not sure if this term has been patented yet, but if it hasn’t, I claim it.
Alas, it was not to last, however. The second half was unfortunately played at a level of intensity quite far removed from that of the first half, with perhaps ‘snoozefest’ the most suitable term, but I guess that’s what happens when you play Geelong. They, uh, find a way. This time, it was to the tune of 43 points (six goals and seven behinds for those that use the metric system).
Let’s jump into the key points.
Early crow for Swans
Sydney broke out of the gates like a fireball from a cannon (do cannons fire fireballs? Maybe cannonball would be a more apt analogy). Their ball movement was slick, precise, and seemed to stun their more fancied opponents, with three goals next to the Sydney name on the scoreboard before the Cats had registered any of their own. The handballing was exhilarating to watch, with each link in the chain knowing both exactly the position he should be occupying, and where the next disposal should go.
Two moments, in particular, resulting in the team’s second and third goals, stood out in this vein; first, a long, sweeping corridor handball from Braeden Campbell to James Jordon, who, with a Cats opponent right on his hammer, did not have to break stride, taking possession before delivering a gift-wrapped ball inside 50 to Heeney. The second moment involved a handball chain from half-back, with the ball ending up with Nick Blakey forward of centre, who burned off one opponent before changing direction slightly and forcing a Cats defender to commit, resulting in an easy passage for Campbell, who ran to 55m and did the rest. It was very enjoyable to watch, and while they were unable to sustain it against the Cats’ intensely disciplined defensive fortifications, it was a sign of what we can expect when this team, in its quasi-transitive phase, develops some more chemistry together.
Old fashioned bash and crash (for a half)
The league might be doing their absolute utmost to skewer defensive tactics, but in my opinion, it’s still hard to beat a good tackle and bump-heavy scrap, and this game delivered just such a scrap in spades. You may advise, upon hearing this, that I convert to rugby, but I prefer tackling when it isn’t mindless. When it’s a result of genuine intent and endeavour from players to sprint to and stop their opponent, rather than the result of a formation of men attempting to prevent one man from breaking through, over and over and over again.
The first half of this game was by and large brilliantly intense, as the teams fought tooth and nail to gain ascendancy. A Sydney player would gain possession, have the handball smothered as he was tackled, then a Geelong player would take possession, baulk away from one tackler, handball to a mate, and then that mate would be immediately set upon by multiple Swans. It was compelling viewing, and reminded us all why we in fact still do want to see tackling in the game. Hear that, Andrew? I’ll repeat it for you in bold just so that you comprehend the message. We really do want to see tackling in the game. Another facet of tackling which I love is the desperate defensive effort to affect a shot at goal, and there was plenty of that in this one too. I don’t recall the specifics of the players involved in these incidents, but I counted at least three moments where the bloke with the ball inside his attacking 50 had a smidgen of space to work with, but then was taken out by a desperate opponent, pushing the shot wayward. Great stuff.
Chips out for Smith
Bailey Smith has had a much-documented season of high quality, and refreshingly this has arisen predominantly due to his output on field, rather than off it. But I thought he was lacklustre for large swathes of this game, despite leading the individual disposal count for both teams by the length of Ballarat Road. Many of his early disposals in particular were technically effective, but found a teammate in a worse position, who was then either tackled or pressured to the point of turnover. Not only that, but he had multiple unacceptable defensive efforts when the game was still in the balance. It’s a testament to his season and newfound consistency that he still led all players on the ground for contested possessions, and 131 Ranking Points (from a system that I now understand) suggests a great performance, but I doubt this game’ll be a prominent feature in the chronicle of his year when the Victorian U25 Female AFL Fan Entourage gets round to writing it. It was a decent-ish game, but I certainly didn’t feel that he stood out from his mates.
What can you do?
Geelong had at MINIMUM four goals in this game of an absurd degree of skill, and each one must’ve completely demoralised the Swans, players and fans alike. I can’t recall who got the ball rolling, but the goals were as follows:
- Gryan Miers, capitalising on a subpar marking effort from an opponent after a deliberate free kick, running to 35m and slotting a goal from the right boundary. With his stupid angled ball drop, it was made to look even more impressive.
- Tyson Stengle, roving a pack, somehow breaking through two tackles (more on this later) and snapping a classy finish from an angle. He seemed to be strangely untackle-able in this game. I’m sure if that’s a common theme for him, having admittedly not watched a ton of footy this year, but either he’s done the mother of all core exercise programs, or the Swans weren’t tackling as they should’ve been.
- Another Stengle goal, from a 48m set shot close to the left boundary. A bit of theatre was thrown in there too, as he made sure to let a red-and-white-wearing heckler across the fence know about it.
- Ollie Dempsey deciding to say ‘fuck it,’ shooting, and converting, from a similar spot to Miers’ goal.
There was another impressive banana, scored by Shaun Mannagh I believe, but he was assisted by a couple of piss-poor tackling efforts, so I’m not going to include it in the catalogue. Regardless, it is absolutely soul-crushing for an opponent to experience such an onslaught of skill in front of goal. Sydney had, by and large, hung in there despite the cracks that were starting to appear, and each of these goals made it increasingly clear that it was Geelong’s day and that there wasn’t a damn thing anyone could do about it. They’re just a good team, Geelong. Skilful, well-drilled, all of it. They’ve defied every natural law that exists to remain where they are, and as it stands, I’d put money on them for the premiership.
Who are you and what have you done with Peter Ladhams?
Peter Ladhams has been the butt of disparaging comments from a large percentage of the wider footy fan community, but in this game he seemed to have his head screwed on correctly. He arguably outpointed Rhys Stanley in the ruck, certainly outpointed him around the ground, and finished with two goals for his troubles, one from a holding the ball free kick and one from a ruck free (both there). If the AFL Fantasy scores or Champion Data’s metrics are anything to go by, he was the number one Swans player on the ground, and while that’s probably just as much a significant reflection of the poorness of many Swans’ afternoons as it was his own efforts, it was still impressive. There were no brain snaps as far as I could see, and there was even a moment of foresight, exhibited on the last line of defence, when he plugged himself in to the correct spot to gather the ball after a teammate had his handball smothered. Good stuff, Peter.
Let’s all kneel before Neale
The set shot is an art that is constantly being shat upon, with new-fangled techniques such as snaps from directly in front and unnecessary checksides becoming increasingly prominent, but Shannon Neale is one who subscribes to the traditional school of thought (at least, as traditional as the drop punt is. I believe the drop and place kicks are the purest forms of Aussie Rules tradition). Neale had four flawless set shots in the first half of this one, each one sexier than the last. His kicking action is pure; he doesn’t lean back, makes sure to kick through the ball, and follows through with geometric precision. Not only that, but he’s as strong as a weightlifter in the air, clunking most of the balls that come his way. Trust Geelong to unearth two premium players in that absolute disaster of a draft. Cats fans can feel safe and secure in the knowledge that Jeremy Cameron will be passing the torch to a wholly capable protege.
Speaking of Jeremy Cameron, he went goalless in this one, for just the second time this year. I’m not sure who spent the majority of time on him; I imagine it was one of Melican or McCartin, but whoever it was certainly performed his duties admirably. Jeremy nearly managed to snag himself the latest of late goals, from about 55m out, but the footy gods were smiling upon his direct opponent and nudged the attempt to the right. As they should’ve, in my opinion. The man was unsighted and the stats sheet should reflect that.
Given his highest return in an AFL Finals campaign to date is nine goals, the chances of him hitting triple figures in 2025 took a massive nose dive in this game, which was perhaps the only real disappointment on another excellent day to be a Cats fan.
No luck drilling them Swans, then?
Sydney are obviously still figuring out the optimal version of their gameplan under Dean Cox, and this was no more evident than the several moments in which Swans spoiled each other or went for the same ball without communicating to their mates. One thing you will see consistently amongst the very top teams is that they communicate effectively with each other. If a long high ball is coming into the defensive 50 and two teammates are camped under it, one bloke will vacate the space and allow his mate to take the mark. If there’s a chaos ball and a player is well-positioned to mark it, he will say so and the bloke considering whether he should come in from the side and kill the contest will remain stationary. It’s such a key element of sport in general, and I find the instances in which AFL teams fail to carry out this simple action, temporarily taking on the form of Benny Hill, quite amusing (as a North fan, I witness such instances very regularly indeed). Sydney still have some of their Longmire-cemented defensive building blocks in place, shepherding for their mates when practicable, for example, but they’ve got a way to go before their defensive cohesion is up to scratch.
Another point, mildly related to this, is that Sydney had far, far too many missed tackles or unacceptable defensive efforts. Whilst the game was indeed brutish for sizeable portions of the first half, they still didn’t make every stop that they should’ve. I distinctly remember one early laughable half-forward effort from Angus Sheldrick where, upon finding himself face-to-face with a ball-carrying opponent, he kind of just stuck his hands out and allowed the Geelong player to jink free with absurd ease. There were several others, including the baffling missed tackles on Stengle (They got him eventually, when he tried to shake off two opponents at once, and even I was pleased that they did), and by and large, they simply did not operate on a level of defensive proficiency that their coaching staff would’ve been satisfied with.
Special mention to the umpiring, which treated us to some truly baffling decisions, including some non-50s and non-free kicks for blatant offences, and my personal favourite, an overruling which reversed a free kick in order to punish one of the softest high tackles you’ll ever see. Poor old Isaac Heeney, hey. Just wasn’t his day.
So that was that. Geelong 16.15.111-Sydney 10.8.68. A movie we’ve all seen more times than we’d like. I’d write a mini essay on Geelong’s quality but I just don’t think it’s necessary. They are who they are; a relentlessly incompetent Terminator-esque bunch of headband-wearing mutants, and the rest of us can only watch on in envy and dislike (which I’m sure the Geelong fans revel in). Their season is well and truly alive, whilst the Sydney players, whose season died in the arse at least a fortnight ago, have but heavy beachside drinking and surfing behaviour to look forward to. Not bad, not bad at all in fact, but lacking in that thrill that only September footy can bring.
Till next time.
