ROUND TWO
In 2025, the Prophet returns. No one commented on my outrageous Crystal Ball predictions, so that has emboldened me to perhaps embrace the ridiculous a little bit more than normal this year. As the one true AFL oracle, I perhaps believed my own hype a little much and went a little crazy last week … that didn’t end so well. Okay, so a little less ego and a little more footy.
Unlike John Cena who sold his soul, you won’t find the Prophet turning heel on the people – at least, not this early in the season.
Be forewarned, while I am the Mongrel Punt’s resident oracle for all things AFL, I hold no liability for your bad betting and using my predictions in your multis. So, please, gamble responsibly.
So, strap yourselves in for the Prophet’s Predictions for Round Two.
The Guarantee
Multiple instances of contact below the knees get paid this week, emphasising how dumb the decision was to suspend Jackson Archer for an accident, that happen when you play a contact sport. I also think there will be incidental and accidental contact in a game, resulting in an injury, but no suspension.
The Ultimate Nightmare (Worst Case Scenario)
The Power board have had Kenough after the Tigers’ rampage continues, shocking Port on Adelaide Oval. If the Tigers win this one, it would be Ken’s worst nightmare and likely enough for the power brokers of the Power to remove Ken effective immediately. The fans would be baying for blood if this happens. And on last weeks performances, there’s more than an outside chance of this happening.
The Outsider (unexpected winner)
I understand why the Dogs aren’t the favourites on Friday Night, but I am also surprised. Yes, they beat a gallant North last week and are still missing players, but we’ve seen the best and the worst of the Pies over the last two weeks. I expect we will see that a lot this year, pending how their senior players back up from game to game.
The Dogs feel more at home at Marvel, but on a big night of celebration for the Sons of the West, I think they can topple the Pies at the home of football.
The Money Maker (Bold Call)
I can’t believe I’m writing this, but my bold call is that the Saints are every chance of causing an upset. You might have just dropped your phone or started laughing, but hear me out. The last two times these two clubs have met at Marvel Stadium, the Saints have won. In 2023, the Cats needed to win to play finals. Last year, the Cats were coasting, but still needed a win to lock up top four at that point. The Saints have played spoiler on both occasions.
The Saints know the ground – the Cats play there once a year. On this occasion, it’s early in the season, as opposed to the second last round. That makes a difference. The Saints lack of availability also hurts them. While I expect them to be competitive because of the venue, I’m not going to tip the Saints. I just think they are a chance. Geelong, on form and available players, should be far too strong.
Essential Result (Must Win)
This one speaks for itself and is a genuine must-win for both sides. The Dockers, a pre-season flag fancy, were dismantled in a systematic destroyation at the Cattery, while the Swans, who have been competitive, start life under Dean Cox at 0-2.
Sunday afternoon in Perth shapes as almost a season-deciding clash for both sides. While it does start a run of three consecutive games in Perth for Freo, they need to win this one. Conversely, Dean Cox will no doubt be getting a little restless, searching for that inaugural win. I will be as bold to say it is season over for the Swans if they lose. And very close to for Freo.
Most at Stake (Vulnerable)
Again, two teams in the same match. Essendon tried hard against Hokball last week, but I feel like that’s a standard statement we make for the Bombers … they tried hard. That cannot continue if they want to be taken seriously. The Bombers are at home to the Crom and need to win. There is a lot at stake for the Bombers and coach Brad Scott.
There is also a lot at stake for Matthew Nicks. His side under-delivered in 2024 and started this campaign with a great win at home. They travel for the first time, and can’t afford a loss. There is absolutely no reason the Crows should lose this game. It’s borderline unacceptable.
For the sake of their fans, their coaches and their pride, there is a lot at stake for both of these clubs.
The Must Watch (match up or game)
If Carlton can find their mojo, then Thursday Night football should be an engaging watch. However, don’t sleep on North v Melbourne. Theoretically, the Dees should win relatively comfortably. However, things seldom go that way. North were brave last week, but they need to stop the rot of brave losses. If North are going to take any steps forward this year, then they beat Melbourne.
The Unexpected (underdog performance)
I could be putting him in the next category down, but if there’s ever a game for Jack Lukosius to show the AFL world what he is made of, it’s this weekend. He was insipid last week. He clearly does not like any sort of physical pressure or contact and wilts like a flower in the desert. To repay the faith of the Power hierarchy, he MUST deliver this weekend.
It’s a Big Weekend For …
Harry McKay. He was woeful last week, as was his side. With the return of Charlie Curnow, McKay needs to up his output and remind everyone how damaging he can be. He was soundly beaten by a relatively unknown player last week … Embarrassing might be a better word. So, it’s a huge week for Harry, and his club, to see if they can respond to the trainwreck that was last Thursday.
The Don (player of the round)
After a great outing last week, I expect more of the same from Josh Dunkley and his midfield comrades. The Eagles were dismantled around the ball by the Suns, and given the strength of the Lions is their midfield spread, expect Dunkley and co to go big and be the dominant players on the ground.
The Underboss (rookie of the round)
Geelong have a habit of making young players look the goods. So, expect one or both of Max Hall and Harry Boyd to fire on Saturday Night under the roof of Superhero Stadium.
Individual Brilliance (predicting a stat accomplishment like x goals or marks)
Much will rest on the shoulders of the key forwards in many of this weekend’s games. I am backing the trio of Taylor Walker, Darcy Fogarty, and Riley Thilthorpe to kick 10+ between them.
The Winners (currently on 8; last week 6)
Hawthorn
Western Bulldogs
Adelaide
Port Adelaide
Geelong
Brisbane
Melbourne
Fremantle
These predictions were made with only the Thursday Night teams available. Drop us your thoughts in the comments and stay tuned over the coming weeks to see how the Prophet goes with his predictions.
