This is going to go over well…
Earlier this year, my esteemed colleague, Peter Monagle put together an article ranking the best clubs of the AFL Era, with the formula looking at the success the club enjoyed in a number of facets to determine who was best. The more finals and flags the club won, the better off they were.
And it worked – the top of the tree saw the Hawks, Cats, Eagles, and Lions all in the mix, but it got me to thinking about the other end of the spectrum – what if we looked at the ‘achievements’ clubs are not so proud of? The wooden spoons and bottom-four finishes? What if we tallied those and came up with a number to rank the shittiest clubs since the turn of the century?
What would that look like?
I can already feel a few of you shifting uncomfortably in your seats – you know your club has under-performed this century, huh?
To make it a little more interesting, whilst I was awarding points for those categories, I also deducted points when clubs made finals or won flags, which led to some teams being heavily in the negatives (which in this case is a good thing).
And finally, I gave an extra whack to teams that finished ninth – not as big a whack as those sitting in the bottom four, but a little slap, as it is the worst place to finish and we all know it. You miss finals and get the worst draft pick of those outside the eight.
And those smiling, thinking that was all about giving Richmond a whack… sorry. They do have three ninth-place finishes this century, but so do the Kangaroos. Ninth Melbourne?
Anyway, on with the ladder of mediocrity. You don’t want to be sitting on top of this one.
Oh, what the hell? Article continued behind the Mongrel paywall? Yep, I believe my work is worth twenty-five cents per day. If you don’t, that’s fine. Standalone articles, off-season news, into season previews and pre-season game reviews, before we hit the 2024 season are all part of Mongrel Membership. You’re welcome to join/rejoin
