The trade period has come and gone, and as per usual, it’s time for content writers like myself to pick the lowest-hanging fruit on the tree. That’s right, it’s time to name some winners and losers from the complete and utter circus that has been the past fortnight in the AFL landscape.
I’d like to begin by declaring myself as the biggest winner from this year’s trade period, on the basis that I made it through the entire two weeks without once listening to Trade Radio (aside from the final three minutes when everything happens, but that doesn’t count!).
By extension, I would like to congratulate anyone reading this who also avoided the most braindead, content-filling, purposeless radio programming of the year. You have dodged approximately 13,485 Rheem hot water adds, and twice as many shocking takes from experts like Josh Jenkins.
Alright, cynicism aside, the shitshow is over and it’s time to crack into some of my own epic armchair analysis. Let’s get started.
Winners
Gold Coast Suns
Christian Petracca might be the most cringeworthy bloke in the AFL (although Nick Daicos is giving him a run with that new Tiktok video), but this was an amazing get from the Suns.
To add a Norm Smith Medallist, who still has plenty left to give in the AFL, to a midfield already consisting of Matt Rowell, Noah Anderson and Touk Miller is genuinely frightening for opposition clubs.
The Suns were already among the AFL’s best midfields, and this catapults their status in that group a fair bit higher. Petracca will bring class, poise and a much-needed ability to rotate forward to this group.
I would like to see him combine with Bailey Humphrey exchanging mid-forward minutes. Speaking of Humphrey, the Suns also retained him despite his best efforts to leave, and they picked up Jamarra Ugle-Hagan for pennies.
I worry the Jamarra thing could easily come unstuck (I do not like it when clubs play around with their culture), but should it work out, it’ll be another brilliant stroke for the nepo babies.
Charlie Curnow / Robbie D’Orazio
The two-time Coleman medalist and his manager swindled their way out of Carlton and off to Sydney at the deathknock of the trade period, and boy did they like it.
D’Orazio gave a fist pump as he became one of the few player managers to leave the trade period satisfied, and now his client gets to be on the receiving end of Errol Gulden’s golden boot.
I couldn’t put this down as a win for the Swans as time will tell whether or not the steep price they paid (three first round picks plus Will Hayward) will turn out to be worth it or not, but for Curnow, it’s a massive upgrade to get out of Princes Park and move north to the Swans.
A midfield of Gulden, Isaac Heeney and Chad Warner rampaging it into Curnow sounds insane, and I feel for opposing defences.
Of course, the Swans will need their own defence to hold up in turn, otherwise risk becoming basically what the Bulldogs were this year.
Rheem
Ever wondered why we have a two-week trade period where nothing happens outside of the final hour or so? Well look no further.
I am convinced the entire trade period is just a smokescreen so that this hot water giant can remind us to install a Rheem for hours on end, and the fact they’ve been advertising this heavily for so many years would dictate this time of year is a BIG win for them.
I also find it funny that their catchcry of coming on “steady, hot, and strong” could not be any further away from how the trade period plays out.
Good on ya, Rheem!
Melbourne / Steven King
Wait, what? They lost two premiership hero midfielders, missed out on Bailey Humphrey, lost a young defender in Judd McVee. How on earth can this be a win for the Dees?
Well the way I see it, the Dees’ needed a win off the field much more than they needed a win on it, and Steven King delivered.
As the great Phil Jamieson one sang, let’s not beat around the bush. Melbourne’s culture has been stinkier than sour milk for years now, and Christian Petracca and Clayton Oliver were significant parts of that.
Off-field distractions have dogged Oliver for some time now, and King was more than happy to drive him to the airport (he probably tipped off Mitch Cleary, too) to see the back of him.
It’s slightly different with Petracca given his off-field resume is still largely intact, but anyone with eyes could see he simply did not want to be at Melbourne anymore. Let’s be frank, he mailed it in this year, and he sooked it up big time whenever he didn’t get his way.
I think getting rid of these guys, and allowing the young blokes coming through to get a clean run at beginning their AFL careers without a media sideshow, is good for the club.
They also picked up Jack Steele and Brody Mihocek for leadership, and brought in a string of well credited assistant coaches.
Sure, in the short term results they’ll be worse off, but I like the approach from King to clean house and start fresh.
If only someone wanted to take Steven May…
St. Kilda
The splurge was a success!
If heading into this trade period you were to tell me the Saints retained Nasiah Wanganeen-Milera AND Rowan Marshall, while adding Jack Silvagni, Liam Ryan, Sam Flanders and Tom De Koning, I’d say they were the clear winner… and they are!
Kudos to the Saints for not sitting on their backside. Whether you agree with it or not, you can’t question that this team has taken drastic action in an effort to improve.
If they can get Max King on the park, and some of their young players like Max Hall, Marcus Windhager, Mattaes Phillipou, and Darcy Wilson continue to improve, this feels like a dangerous side to me come next season.
Their aggressive approach to building a list will divide opinions, but that’s largely due to more to who they are than what they did. If Geelong or Hawthorn took the same approach, we’d be praising them as geniuses. The Saints do it, and it is met with doubt and wariness.
Personally, I reckon they nailed it, and they should be one of few sides with the potential to rise from the bottom nine into the top half of the league in 2026.
Fremantle
It’s a small move, so I won’t spend long on it (and I am 100% being a homer here), but adding Judd McVee is a sneaky significant upgrade for the Dockers.
Freo lacked run and carry off half back last year, with All-Australian Jordan Clark their only true distributor. They tried to fill the void with players like Bailey Banfield and Karl Worner, but these are more traditional defenders, where dash and dare are secondary to not letting the ball through.
A 22-year-old McVee is a major improvement at the position, and should be able to move the ball to big forwards like Josh Treacy and Pat Voss with a lot more pace.
Losers
Adelaide
Took some big swings, and had some big misses. Mainly, the Crows looked like they were a fair dinkum chance at winning Petracca’s services, but missed out as he nominated the Suns instead.
In the end, the side that won the minor premiership with an 18-5 record didn’t really change much, so it’s hard to call them losers. But the entire footy world watched them get bounced in straight sets largely because their midfield doesn’t bat deep enough, and they weren’t able to fix that via trade.
Can they count on enough in-house development to improve significantly next year? It’s hard to see it happening.
Carlton (for now)
The Blues were in a no-win position the moment Charlie Curnow wanted out of the building.
Two-time Coleman Medallists certainly don’t grow on trees, and frankly the rest of their forward line stinks without him (over to you, Harry).
Still, the reason I’ve had to add a little disclaimer to this is that Carlton did manage to secure a bloody good haul for the star full forward.
Will Hayward is a nice player, as is Ollie Florent (depending on which Swans fan you ask), but the cornerstone of the deal is three first round draft choices. For the next three years the Blues will enjoy having multiple draft picks to play with, and that’s nothing to sneeze at.
In the end, they made the best of a bad situation, but it’s still a bad situation.
This team won’t be very good next year, and while those draft picks are nice, you only want them so that maybe you can secure the next Charlie Curnow…
Overall, the Blues were losers, but let’s give this one some time to play out before we condemn them completely.
Rowan Marshall
What an odd few weeks for the Saints’ premier ruckman.
The bloke has been involved in trade rumours with Geelong for god knows how long, now he finally requests that exact trade thinking his team has replaced him with Tom De Koning… and it gets shut down?
It’d be fair of him to be feeling a bit miffed. Not only does he have to go back to a club he tried to leave, he will likely be playing in a diminished role that will see him pick up a few more responsibilities as a rotating forward.
Still, there is a bright side for big RoMar. He has been with the stinky Saints for so long, and now he finally has a chance to expect some success with the club he has played so well for.
I’m optimistic he and TDK can form a pretty solid duo, particularly given how much the Saints lacked for tall options this year. But yeah, I still reckon he’d be filthy.
North Melbourne and the Western Bulldogs’ back six
I just don’t understand how these teams plan to run it back with the same old defence.
Both were absolutely putrid at stopping opposing teams scoring the ball for the entire season, and both have completely failed in bringing in help at the position.
For the Dogs, they at least were trying to fill the void, but trying won’t count for much when Rory Lobb and James O’Donnell are getting cooked again next year.
This is a side with a midfield and forward line as good (if not better) than any other line-up in the competition, but their back six will continue to drag them down.
On the other hand, North are desperate to climb up the ladder, but they can kiss that ambition goodbye so long as guys like Luke McDonald and Griffin Logue continue to lead their defence.
It just staggers me that these teams weren’t able to land a Jordan Butts, or lure a Josh Draper out of Fremantle.
AFL media
Not the greatest two weeks for the AFL newshounds.
I mean, we’ve grown accustomed to it over the years, but the doorknocking and airport harrassment reached news levels of cringe and uncomfortable this year – culminating in Clayton Oliver doing his best not to rip Mitch Cleary’s head off.
I think we’ve all seen enough of Tom Morris, Damien Barrett and the rest for a while now. Please let it end.
Big idiots
Everyone involved in the Merrett fiasco
Our fearless Mongrel leader, HB, has already covered this at length, but I’d like to chip in with my two bob’s worth.
Everyone who had a hand in this overly-emotional wheeling and dealing has egg on their face.
Let’s start with the Bombers. I understand the “line in the sand” approach, and that after the year from hell, you just wanted to stop the bleeding. But for the love of god, three first round draft picks for a 30-year-old midfielder is as good as it gets.
Kane Cornes might respect you, and I guess I do a little as well, but how far will that respect go when you’re getting clapped on the field again next year and you know you left three firsts on the table?
And don’t think you’ve escaped my ire, Hawthorn. Waiting until the latest stage possible to lodge your official offer, in what I assume is an effort to protect the players you didn’t want to trade, gave you little wiggle room and left Essendon in an easy position to deny you access to their skipper.
In the end you’ve made all the promises in the world to Merrett, and delivered on none of them.
Merrett’s manager Tom Pretroro shouldn’t escape criticism here, either. Parading around pointing fingers at anyone in the vicinity looked stupid enough, but waiting until 36 hours to go to officially nominate Hawthorn was just idiocy.
And now for Merrett himself – well, I don’t really need to say much. I hope your teammates are more forgiving than your fans.
So there you have it. That’s a wrap on the most frustrating and brain cell-killing fortnight on the AFL calendar.
The silver lining is that now we get to look forward to the most compromised draft in AFL history. See you there!
