Jimmy got this one to me a couple of hours before the Thursday night game, but forgot to tell me until an hour before. It left me without time to publish last night, so anything he says about the Brisbane v Sydney game, right or wrong, was done so prior to the game – HB
ROUND SIXTEEN
We almost have nine games back on our screens on the weekend. And while the games might not be at full capacity, lunacy from the AFL has been with some very weird and nonsensical fixture scenarios in the public domain. Do they really think shortening games and cancelling Gather Round makes the game more must-watch? As I said, lunacy.
Be forewarned, while I am the Mongrel Punt’s resident oracle for all things AFL, I hold no liability for your bad betting and using my predictions in your multis. So, please, gamble responsibly.
So, strap yourselves in for the Prophet’s Predictions for Round Sixteen.
The Guarantee
The Elimination Final from last year does not repeat. While the Suns won their maiden final by travelling out West and defeating the Doker, that would be a fever dream Suns fans this weekend.
The Doker are flying. They haven’t lost since Round One, they have Wharfie Time superpowers, and the Suns have no one to halt the momentum of Luke Jackson. Therefore, I guarantee a Dockers win. Groundbreaking stuff, really!
The Ultimate Nightmare (Worst Case Scenario)
Look away Blues fans … while you’ve been the prime Undertaker at Wrestlemania since sacking Michael Voss, you run the risk of becoming Eugene if you drop this game against the Eagles.
I’d like to think that the Blues are much more reliable now; they win the games they are supposed to. However, there’s still residual distrust for that. Would the current sentiment around Josh Fraser change if the Navy Blues drop this one?
The Outsider (unexpected winner)
I feel like I have a habit of tipping Norf to lose games against other bottom sides, and then they win. The reverse Danhausen, I guess you could call it!
Anyway, I’m gonna tip the Bombers as the unexpected winner this weekend. For no reason other than … because I can. I have very little faith in Essendon to keep this within four goals, but I also struggle to see Norf win by a lot … especially with no Paul Curtis.
The Money Maker (Bold Call)
Logan Morris outscores Charlie Curnow. There’s a school of thought that expects Charlie’s impact to climb now that Errol Gulden returns to the side. And this school of thought makes sense.
Teams best ball user returns, teams full forward gets more scoring opportunities. However, despite this fortuitous turn of events for the Swom, my bold call is that young Logan Morris outscores Charlie in Thursday Night Football.
Essential Result (Must Win)
As much as I have guaranteed the Doker to win on Sunday, the reality is that the Suns must win every time they go out there. Having successfully reached the second week of finals in 2025, the Suns were tipped for big things this year.
Thus far, they have underdelivered, and that is resulting in numerous players being unhappy and exploring moves away from the Gold Coast.
If the Suns are, at any point this season show that they are a sensible football team, then they absolutely must win this match.
Most at Stake (Vulnerable)
Harry Sheezel’s disposal record. I’ve seen many suggesting that the Great Seagull, Nick Daicos, will break the disposal record this weekend against Richmond. And you know what, he probably will. How?
By short kicks to players, he can run past for a cheap disposal. Yes, he wins a lot of the footy and some of it is genuinely earned, but I’d like to see him not get frustrated when his teammates don’t give 2 metre handball or 15 metre kick to him so he can stat pad.
Legitimately though, he is every chance of setting the bar so high it never gets beaten.
The Must Watch (match-up or game)
Can it be anything other than Zak Butters final Showdown? These games always deliver – just look at the earlier Showdown this year. The AFL still persist in not giving the Showdown a standalone Friday Night slot, to their detriment.
I expect this one will be competitive early, but that the Crows will run away with it, particularly after Port’s horror injury toll last week.
The Unexpected (underdog performance)
The Socceroos to take points from their contest against Paraguay, qualify second in their group, and then move into the knockout stages of the World Cup. Noone gave us any chance, we surprised Turkiye, and the yanks paid off the ref … so, with everything on the line, well, you know us Aussies love a good underdog story …
It’s a Big Weekend For …
The Orange Team. Having started the year well with an early victory over Hokball, the orange tsunami has not really got above ankle deep and caused no threat. They currently sit outside the Wildcard spots and desperately need a win.
Hawthorn have had some fantastic performances but then also not turned up at times. I expect Hokball to win on their home deck, but if there’s ever a time for Toby Time to get the Giants across the line one more time … it’s today!
The Don (player of the round)
Logan Morris. 5 + goals and 8 + contested marks, leading his Lions to a strong victory against the Swom.
The Underboss (rookie of the round)
I really liked what I saw of Sam Swadling last week, and I’ll back him in to play well again this week. He gets to run around with his contemporaries – other kids making their mark – so it’ll be a fair litmus test for him.
Individual Brilliance (predicting a stat accomplishment like x goals or marks)
Patrick Cripps to have 25+ disposals, 10+ clearances, and kick 3+ goals against the Eagles.
The Winners (currently on 85; last week 2)
Brisbane Lions
Hawthorn
Carlton
Collingwood
Adelaide
North Melbourne
Wharfie Time (Fremantle)
Predictions were submitted with only the Thursday Night Football teams named. Drop us your thoughts in the comments and stay tuned over the coming weeks to see how the Prophet goes with his predictions.
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