ROUND FIFTEEN
Why do we still have weekends when not every team plays? Why does the AFL hate us? Maybe we should all do a Jy Simpkin and take to social media to point out the AFL’s inconsistencies … although, we’ll all get censored, I’m sure.
Be forewarned, while I am the Mongrel Punt’s resident oracle for all things AFL, I hold no liability for your bad betting and using my predictions in your multis. So, please, gamble responsibly.
So, strap yourselves in for the Prophet’s Predictions for Round Fifteen.
The Guarantee
This will likely, unequivocally backfire on me. But I have felt, since the Cats lost to the Blues, that there was nothing surer than Geelong beating the Purple Haze, in Perth, during Wharfie Time. My resolve has been tested with no Tom Stewart, no Gryan Miers, and no Bailey Smith to take the field, but YOLO … Geelong win on Thursday Night. Sorry Doker fans!
Also, congratulations to Chris Scott and Mark Blicavs who set the record for most V/AFL games as a coach and player duo. There has been zero media about this because the media hate Geelong. That’s fine, we will keep saying TBC on our injury lists and you can deal with it.
The Ultimate Nightmare (Worst Case Scenario)
I could say Geelong losing is the ultimate nightmare for my predicting ability, but that’s already cooked. I could say Norf losing to the Tigers – I mean, any generated goodwill for North would evaporate completely. But I will settle for a Suns loss.
The Suns of the Gold Coast sky seem to be imploding. Completely imploding. Players want out, the club has been fined $20K for continuously touching umpires, and the coach is a loose cannon. They play well at home and should be in a good performance under Friday Night Lights, but I don’t trust them. At all.
Hokball are missing players, are fresh off a break, and a loss the last time out, so will be ready to respond and continue the spiral of the Nepo Baby’s … maybe the Suns will be gifted some more picks if they miss wildcard round?
The Outsider (unexpected winner)
Get around the Tigers in this one. We are seeing signs of improvement from the Punt Road boys, even if the wins aren’t coming. North have spent a fortnight in the West, they are literally Jekyll & Hyde, and I think the Tigers will have circled this one, and it could be time for the bad version of North to say hello!
The Money Maker (Bold Call)
Geelong’s forwards get zero free kicks on Thursday Night after Dimma’s comments. The Doker defenders will realise they can use Muay Thai moves and it’s still okay … I mean, it worked for Billy Frampton after all. Too soon?
Beyond that, the Dees will cause an upset in Adelaide. We know how good they’ve been at the MCG this year, and they haven’t travelled well, but they will want to have a statement win on the road. They will likely need to travel in September if they go deep, so finding some form of away-from-home will do wonders for the group.
Essential Result (Must Win)
Everyone still seems to believe in Collingwood, despite a series of poor performances against top sides. So, I guess, if they are to feature in the Wildcard Round and beyond, they need to bank points in games they should win.
Coming up against the Power from Port, the Pies are at home and rightly go in as favourites. However, a loss in this one could be curtains for them in 2026. But I doubt the coach will play the kids. He will go and continue to chase glory at the expense of the club’s long-term future. Sorry, that’s a drive-by.
Needless to say, the Pies need to win this if they are to maintain contact with the Top 10 this year.
Most at Stake (Vulnerable)
The Dogs are gettable. When things don’t go their way, they struggle to defend. Both them and the Saints love the Marvel deck and like to play their footy there.
I still don’t completely trust either of them, though. So, while I mentioned the Dogs alone, it’s probably both teams who are vulnerable. The Dogs will want to remain in the Top 8, while the Saints want to stay around the Wildcard mark. In order for that, both teams need to win or they become vulnerable to the chasing pack.
The Saints don’t have the key forwards to stretch the Dogs’ defence, and I trust the Dogs midfield more, but the Saints at Marvel are something else. Should be an interesting watch.
The Must Watch (match-up or game)
The Orange Team v the Blues is a low-key must-watch game this weekend. Sure, Thursday Night and Friday Night have some of the heavyweights, but this is an intriguing one.
Both have shown glimpses, and the Blues are yet to lose under interim coach Josh Fraser. A win keeps Carlton in contention and the four points to the Giants pushes them into WildCard territory. Both are good in the contest, can kick a score, and seem to perform when they aren’t expected to. Perhaps the Giants being at home at Engie gives them a slight edge.
The Unexpected (underdog performance)
If the Cats are to win, they need some lesser lights to rise to the occasion. I’m looking at Oisin Mullin on Caleb Serong, George Stevens in the contest, and Jack Bowes to find some of his VFL form at the top level. If they can all contribute around the coal face, it will go a long way to the Cats finding a way to a famous victory.
It’s a Big Weekend For …
The Suns to try and sell the vision to wantaway stars and the Dogs to make their list appealing to Zak Butters … he wants flags. If the Dogs keep underdelivering, does that change his mind?
The Don (player of the round)
Because I’ve tipped the Cats, it’ll mean Josh Treacy and Luke Jackson dominate. Watch it happen.
Alternatively, I like the Wizard in this one. He will throw something else at the Suns mids, and be a menace up forward. And if it is dewy or wet, he has shown himself to be almost in a league of his own in those conditions. The Wizard to kick 4+ in a Hawks triumph.
The Underboss (rookie of the round)
I don’t know exactly who is picked in the teams this weekend, so let’s just go with someone from Richmond. They are a team of rookies and a surprise win means at least one of them plays well!
Individual Brilliance (predicting a stat accomplishment like x goals or marks)
Zak Butters to have 30+ touches and 10+ clearances to almost get the Power over the line.
The Winners (currently on 83; last week 5)
Geelong
Hawthorn
Melbourne
Greater Western Sydney
Collingwood
Richmond
St Kilda
Predictions were submitted with only the Thursday Night Football teams named. Drop us your thoughts in the comments and stay tuned over the coming weeks to see how the Prophet goes with his predictions.
