With just two games over the weekend, narrowing down the Winners and Losers of the weekend should be easy.
Let’s see how your old mate, HB, goes. The simplest column of the week, but the simplest man… yeah.
THE WINNERS
PATRICK DANGERFIELD
A monster game… without peer over the course of the weekend, as he used his body as a battering ram and taught the Hawks a lesson in how to attack the footy in the contest.
In a career that has so many special moments and games, this one might have been right up there with the best.
HUGH MCCLUGGAGE
The closest contender to Danger’s throne this week, McCluggage left Steele Sidebottom in his dust, as he powered away from stoppages, and found the ball at will.
The Pies’ veteran was moved off him in an act of mercy.
GRYAN MIERS
Has become more than just a great role player, with his tenth game of the year clocking over 25 touches.
He added a game-high 14 score involvements to his 27 touches, with a goal and four direct goal assists amongst them.
HARRIS ANDREWS
The wall.
Just controls the game from defence, and makes those around him walk taller.
Here’s a challenge for you – go back and watch the game and find contests where he lost The only one I can remember him looking like losing was in the first ten seconds, but the lummox, Mason Cox failed to grab a chest mark. And from that point, it was all Harris Andrews.
TOM ATKINS
Was given the role of stopping Jai Newcombe.
Went out and did the role of stopping Jai Newcombe.
This guy is a blue-collar genius – the type that could fix your TV while there to check out your plumbing. He’d be an excellent player in any era because at the heart of it, there is no bullshit about the man.
DARCY GARDINER
Had his way with Brody Mihocek in such a manner that Brody’s missus probably felt jealous.
Read the footy well in the air, got to the right spots, and made some big plays when the Pies were pressing. He needed this game, restoring confidence in his ability to be a great contributor to the Brisbane team.
JACK GUNSTON
Where would the Hawks be without him?
I reckon he could have ended with five goals in this one, but had to settle for three. Had a clean contested mark in the goal square taken off him, when Jack Henry slipped over.
It’s that type of umpiring that infuriates footy fans, because we all see that they’re guessing. It cost Gunners an easy goal.
JAMIE ELLIOTT
Looked like the man that could carry the Pies to a win over the Lions. With so many of his fellow forwards missing, or down on form, he was the one that breathed life into his team.
OISIN MULLIN
Another week, another victim.
This time, it was Nick Watson being completely shut down, and next week, a return engagement with Hugh McCluggage will be riveting viewing.
MARK BLICAVS
What a player he’s been for the Cats. What a player he continues to be.
Anything the Cats need, he is the man they go to. Wing, ruck, key position defence, go forward and kick a goal… no probs, Blicavs will do it.
CAM RAYNER
Difference-maker.
Match-winner.
Finals player.
Not sure you can get a better reputation than that.
BAILEY SMITH
Thought I was gonna leave him out, didn’t ya?
He has been amazing this season, and as much as people whine and complain about him off the field, on it, he is a maestro. Another massive impact in the game against the Hawks… and I liked seeing him with a few angry pills in the system.
At least, I hope they were angry pills…
LACHIE NEALE AND THE BIG O
Well, the hard work is now done. Oscar gets the chance he missed out on, and Lachie gets an opportunity that looked gone just a few weeks back. Bring on the Grand Final.
THE LOSERS
STEELE SIDEBOTTOM
Got a bit of a rude awakening… and not of the Ravishing Rick Rude variety. Started on Hugh McCluggage, and was blown off the park by the hard run of the Lions’ midfielder.
Rewind a year, he was reinvented as a stopper. This year, no such luck.
BRODY MIHOCEK
He may have carried an injury into the game, but he was blanketed by Darcy Gardiner to the point he was a non-factor.
Mihocek could be wearing different colours next season. If so, this was a horrid way to finish the Collingwood tenure of the five-time Gordon Coventry Trophy winner.
JOSH WEDDLE
The lights were a little too bright for Josh, as he struggled to get into the game against the Cats.
Even when the Hawks started to target him, Weddle’s normally sure hands failed him, resulting in a slew of dropped marks in a game he would not like to revisit.
SCOTT PENDLEBURY
And the moral of the story is… don’t take injured players into big finals.
Harsh on the Pies, as he may have injured it in the warmup, but they played him, and he was of no good to the team. Father Time catches up with us all.
NICK WATSON
A horrible night at the office for The Wizard, who was very much the Ron Weasley of the wizarding world this weekend. Does he play chess, at least?
SHANNON NEALE
This is more a cumulative addition.
Neale’s first two finals of 2025 have resulted in averages of 4.5 disposals, 1.0 marks, and 1.0 goals. He’ll need to find something in the Granny against Harris Andrews – the Cats may need him to keep the Brisbane skipper accountable.
That said, he should have had at least one more mark and shot at goal this week, after he clunked one, but the umpire awarded a free kick to Dangerfield.
JACK HENRY
Convincingly beaten by Jack Gunston, who is 114 years old.
Henry hurt an ankle early in the game, but soldered on. Unfortunately, that ankle injury meant that his loss of mobility cost his club on multiple occasions.
MATCH REVIEW OFFICER
Three weeks for Mabior Chol, who applied a second tackle on Tom Stewart, at the same time Sam Butler was taking Stewart down by the legs.
An idiotic system results in an idiotic suspension.
JOSH WARD
Had a massive game against the Crows, but fell into that trap young players often do… and completely fell away the following week.
Eight touches as a midfielder… a poor night’s work from Ward.
THE ESSENDON FOOTBALL CLUB
You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. What a horrible off-season, thus far.
If you have your own, list ’em.
As always, massive thanks to those who support this work. You can see the amount of care that goes into it. I love footy, I love writing about it, and I hope you enjoy reading it. Without you, this whole thing falls over. Sincerely… thank you – HB
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