Oh yeah… Monday. You know what that means?
That’s right – a higher rate of heart attacks in men, but it also means the simplest column at The Mongrel by the simplest Mongrel of them all.
It’s the winners and losers of Round 18. Let’s go!
WINNERS
LOGAN MCDONALD
McDonald copped it on social media after two weeks of late-game misses that cost the Sydney Swans games. Sure, there were dozens of other errors that also contributed heavily to the losses, but when you miss late, people remember.
Logan hit the game against the Kangaroos with a purpose, and rather than wait until the game needed to be won, he went out and shopped early, kicking three of his four goals in the first half, putting the previous fortnight behind him.
Yes, the real test for McDonald may come when he has the ball in his hands with time running out, but he was a young man on a mission early in the game this weekend, and his nine touches and five score involvements in the first stanza indicated he was not going to allow the last two games to dictate who he is.
JAMARRA UGLE-HAGAN
After the first quarter, it looked as though we were going to have yet another week of Jacob Weitering obliterating his opponent. He was easily outmarking Jamarra Ugle-Hagan, and looking like he could be the difference in the game.
However, with the aid of Cody Weightman, Jamarra hit back hard. He worked up the ground and hurt the Blues at ground level to finish with four goals, and could have easily had six. He also added 20 touches, and 13 score involvements.
The Dogs needed their young star to step up in the absence of Aaron Naughton, and after an iffy start, JUH stepped up in a big way.
ED LANGDON
The Dees experimented with Ed Langdon playing as a bit of a defensive half-forward earlier in the year. If I hadn’t recently cut my own hair (an art worth your learning… saves a heap of money) I would have torn it out.
Langdon is a wingman. He is a running machine who will work both ends of the ground without an issue, and he… NEVER RESTS!
Against the Bombers, he was everywhere. So often, he does that “unrewarded running” you hear about. This time, there were rewards everywhere as he compiled 31 touches and a goal as he owned the outer wing at the ‘G.
With Caleb Windsor on the opposite side of the ground, the Dees have a great apprentice learning from a master of the position.
SAM COLLINS
Another week, another big defensive performance from the Gold Coast stopper.
Collins is quietly putting together an All-Australian season, ranking first overall in intercepts, and second overall in one-percenters. The last bloke to finish the season ranked first in both was Alex Rance, and he had no issues with AA selections.
Playing Off-Broadway, Collins was not even mentioned when that team of trained apes – the All-Australian selection committee – had their mid-season chat. If they fail to mention him come the end of the season, the whole lot of them should be sacked.
And maybe tickled until it feels uncomfortable.
JAMES SICILY
I have such a love-hate relationship with Sic, but most of the hate part stems from a few years ago, when his temper often cost the Hawks at vital moments. On talent, alone, he is as good as anyone.
Switched forward in the second half, the Hawthorn captain snagged three goals, including two back-to-back in the last quarter to get his team over the line.
Sicily’s ability to find room and take a big contested grab seemed to break the hearts of the Dockers, who once again suffered a loss at UTAS.
And a nod of the head to Sam Mitchell for recognising his captain was not having the best of days, struggling with the shoulder injury that kept him out last week, and moving him forward.
Once there, Sicily did some damage, and that damage was enough to drive his team to another win.
LOSERS
JYE AMISS
Freo hit the front, Jya Amiss gets the chance to redeem himself for two earlier misses and give his team some breathing space on the road.
The time is right to slot the goal and bury some of the demons that have haunted you all year.
Nup… Jye botched it, and the Hawks would go down the other end, Sicily would retake the lead for his team, and give the Hawks the kick in the ass they needed to win.
After being such a reliable kick at goal last season, Amiss has dropped his bundle this year, and Freo need him to find it in a hurry.
CHARLIE CURNOW
I’m sure you would have seen the meme doing the rounds claiming they’d found Trump’s shooter, right?
It was a picture of Curnow, after he sprayed his shots everywhere against the Dogs on Saturday. Playing against a depleted defence, it seemed as though things were set up nicely, but like a distracted man in a toilet, he made a mess of everything!
Curnow finished with 3.7 for the game, and in a contest decided by 14 points, his inaccuracy really cost the Blues dearly.
MITCH OWENS
Come on, HB… picking on one of the kids! You’re a disgrace!
Maybe. But if we’re going to praise Mitch when he does great things, he has to be called out when he doesn’t do much of anything, and that’s what happened against the Crows.
Owens is a star in the making, but performances where he manages four touches are things you expect from a rookie like Jed Walter at Gold Coast. Mitch needs to be better. He is better.
ARCHIE PERKINS
Remember when the Bombers had three top-ten picks in a row in the 2020 draft?
What a bonanza of footy talent they had at their disposal. Initially, all the talk was about the “unicorn”, Nik Cox, but injuries have seen him falling back to the pack and look more like a pony with a carrot stuck on his head.
Zac Reid has barely got on the park, but Archie Perkins looked to be a bit of a gem.
Whilst his progress has been steady, he has not broken through that ceiling and into stardom, as many expected him to, and whilst he is not alone when it comes to talent from that draft, watching him meander about the last few games, having little impact, makes me wonder where he’s at.
He has just four goals to his name in 2024, after 18 in 2023, and 16 in 2022. If the Bombers are to contend, he needs to lift.
BRIAN TAYLOR AND COMPANY
Picture this – Nick Daicos is caught in a tackle. The opponent’s knee catches Daicos in the hamstring. It’s clear – the vision shows it. But does BT watch the vision? And for that matter, do any of his colleagues?
No. No, they don’t.
Four highly-paid experts spend the next five minutes of game time yapping about the Daicos hamstring injury, how it impacts the global financial markets, and whether or not it is the cause of climate change. Meanwhile, you, me, and every other person watching has clearly seen several replays which indicate it’s a corkie.
It takes Abbey Holmes to chime in from the boundary to allay their fears and give them the good news. And that almost stops them talking about it for a while.
Almost.
BT, James Brayshaw, Luke Hodge, and Matthew Richardson… have a spell, boys.
Oh, and one more loser – the person who copied and pasted parts of one of my reviews on a footy forum and tried to palm it off as his own work. Mate… that is some hard up shit. Please, find a way to form your own opinions and leave mine alone. Hell, do you genuinely want to be wrong as often as I am???
Like this content? You could buy me a coffee – I do like coffee, but there is no guarantee I won’t use it to buy a doughnut… I like them more. And I am not brought to you by Sportsbet or Ladbrokes… or Bet365, or any of them.
