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And now for something completely different…
I woke this morning to news that Taylor Swift’s MCG show went off last night, which was not unexpected. 96,000 people jammed into the place to see her, which makes her about as popular as Richmond in the 2017 Preliminary Final.
As my lovely wife, Mrs Mongrel, got her obligatory Saturday morning sleep in (because she refuses to move as our one-year-old assaults us both) I started to wonder which AFL player would be most suited to get the Taylor Swift rub.
LOL… not what you’re thinking. In this case, the ‘rub’ is a term used in wrestling where some of the star power from one person rubs off onto another. Completely not what you were thinking, was it?
Anyway, thinking I had an idea that the lovely Mrs Mongrel would latch onto with both hands, I floated the idea to her as she stirred her coffee (that I made her – just need to point this out) and her response was not what I anticipated.
“No one,” she emphatically responded when I asked which AFL player should Taylor Swift date. “None are good enough.”
Wow…
I started to scramble.
“What about Matt Rowell?”
She loves Matt Rowell. I don’t rightly know why, but I think she may view him as the little red-headed kid that took notes on the sidelines in 2020 after injuring himself, and not the wrecking machine who dominates for the Gold Coast Suns in the contest.
Then came the shocker.
“He could barely even buy tickets to her concert. No way he could date her. None.”
Oh my…
The golden boy had been tarnished. Who else could I throw out there?
“Toby Greene? He’s got a bit of experience…”
This was going poorly. Her expression was impassive.
“Ummm, he took his mum to the Brownlow, remember? Maybe he’s one of those guys she thinks she could change?”
Again, she more looked through me than at me. “No.”
Just a flat out no.
“Jason Horne-Francis?” He could do with some good publicity.
A frown. “Please…”
And so, my fellow Mongrels, I am stuck. Here I was, about to collaborate with my wife on a piece where we would identify Taylor Swift’s next potential love interest after she and Travus Kelce break up, and I was told, point blank, that there are none in the league that can get near her.
“No, there is nobody,” she reiterated. “I don’t know why you’re pursuing this.”
All of a sudden, I didn’t either.
Do we believe this? Is Mrs Mongrel on point, or is there a sneaky chance that an AFL player might be able to weasel his way into Taylor Swift’s good graces at some point, win her heart, and subsequent TV ratings?
I await your assessment, and your nominations of which player we should drag to the altar of Swift as an AFL sacrifice… for the good of the game and potential growth, of course.
It’s an AFL love story, baby just say yes.
Like this content? You could buy me a coffee – I do like coffee, but there is no guarantee I won’t use it to buy a doughnut… I like them more. And I am not brought to you by Sportsbet or Ladbrokes… or Bet365, or any of them.
